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From writer Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about misanthropy, social media, anxiety, relationships, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family. For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be a From writer Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about misanthropy, social media, anxiety, relationships, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family. For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be alive too, David chronicles her life’s most chaotic moments with wit, bleak humor, and a mega-dose of self-awareness. In No One Asked for This, David provides readers with a singular but ultimately relatable tour through her mind, as she explores existential anxiety, family dynamics, and the utterly modern dilemma of having your breakup displayed on the Internet. With pitch-black humor resonant of her father, comedy legend Larry David, and topics that speak uniquely to generational malaise, No One Asked for This is the perfect companion for when you don’t really want a companion. Mean sister -- Do not disturb -- Ex dysmorphia -- Almost pretty -- Is everything gonna be fine? -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: I -- Why God is definitely real -- Too full to fuck -- So embarrassing -- Love you to death -- Insecurity when you're the new girlfriend -- Environ-mental mom -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: II -- Shit-talking etiquette -- My parasite -- Privileged assistant -- I got a cat for my anxiety -- This essay doesn't pass the Bechdel test -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: III -- Moving out -- Erase me -- Thanksgiving


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From writer Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about misanthropy, social media, anxiety, relationships, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family. For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be a From writer Cazzie David comes a series of acerbic, darkly funny essays about misanthropy, social media, anxiety, relationships, and growing up in a wildly eccentric family. For Cazzie David, the world is one big trap door leading to death and despair and social phobia. From shame spirals caused by hookups to panic attacks about being alive and everyone else having to be alive too, David chronicles her life’s most chaotic moments with wit, bleak humor, and a mega-dose of self-awareness. In No One Asked for This, David provides readers with a singular but ultimately relatable tour through her mind, as she explores existential anxiety, family dynamics, and the utterly modern dilemma of having your breakup displayed on the Internet. With pitch-black humor resonant of her father, comedy legend Larry David, and topics that speak uniquely to generational malaise, No One Asked for This is the perfect companion for when you don’t really want a companion. Mean sister -- Do not disturb -- Ex dysmorphia -- Almost pretty -- Is everything gonna be fine? -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: I -- Why God is definitely real -- Too full to fuck -- So embarrassing -- Love you to death -- Insecurity when you're the new girlfriend -- Environ-mental mom -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: II -- Shit-talking etiquette -- My parasite -- Privileged assistant -- I got a cat for my anxiety -- This essay doesn't pass the Bechdel test -- Tweets I would tweet if I weren't morally opposed to Twitter: III -- Moving out -- Erase me -- Thanksgiving

30 review for No One Asked for This: Essays

  1. 5 out of 5

    Heather K (dentist in my spare time)

    Look, I've said this time and time again, but you can be a funny, smart, interesting person with some clever things to say and still not be a good writer and should not attempt to write book. Of any kind. No One Asked for This: Essays is an example of that fact. There is no other way to put this, but if Cazzie David wasn't Larry David's daughter, this collection of essays wouldn't have made it past a series of blog entries. They feel like they were written in the dead of night while mainlining C Look, I've said this time and time again, but you can be a funny, smart, interesting person with some clever things to say and still not be a good writer and should not attempt to write book. Of any kind. No One Asked for This: Essays is an example of that fact. There is no other way to put this, but if Cazzie David wasn't Larry David's daughter, this collection of essays wouldn't have made it past a series of blog entries. They feel like they were written in the dead of night while mainlining Cheetos and while stoned, and have not been edited or touched since. Most of the writing is incredibly tone-deaf. If you are going to write essays that frequently reference nannies; flying places on a whim; not being pretty when you are, without a doubt, pretty; your dad being so rich that he gets injected with stem cells, just because he thinks it boosts his immune system(!?!); and living with your parents with their full financial support, you better recognize and discuss that glaring privilege in a meaningful way. I had secondhand embarrassment reading essays about fighting with your sister about clubbing! and being too full for sex. Also, please don't *ever* write that you wish their was a "third gender for non-idiots" because that is your identity. That was a bad one. I do not doubt that Cazzie has serious mental health issues and a severe anxiety disorder, but, yet again, that doesn't make her a good writer. This poorly conceived and even more poorly edited collection of essays demonstrate that very clearly. *Copy provided in exchange for an honest review* goodreads|instagram|twitter|blog

  2. 4 out of 5

    Anna R

    In another world where Cazzie wasn’t Larry’s daughter, she posts this on Medium. It gets two claps, both from bots. She brings it to her creative writing class and during workshop her classmates think “well, at least it’s better than the girl who wrote 900 words on vampires.” Her professor stares out the window and wonders if it’s too late to get into nonprofit work.

  3. 5 out of 5

    librarian.nat

    the tl;dr: bad vibes, big yikes I wanted to enjoy this book, but I tell ye, it was tough to get through. I indeed finished it, but quite the chore it was. "Erase Me," especially so. My God, that essay. My brain has short-circuited. My eyes need an enema. My hands need a cleanse. I am gobsmacked that this is the essay receiving the most press coverage. It doesn't matter that identities and context are obscured. The code isn't that hard to crack, and boy is it ever piteous once it is. First, a thoug the tl;dr: bad vibes, big yikes I wanted to enjoy this book, but I tell ye, it was tough to get through. I indeed finished it, but quite the chore it was. "Erase Me," especially so. My God, that essay. My brain has short-circuited. My eyes need an enema. My hands need a cleanse. I am gobsmacked that this is the essay receiving the most press coverage. It doesn't matter that identities and context are obscured. The code isn't that hard to crack, and boy is it ever piteous once it is. First, a thought experiment—an exercise in empathy, if you will: Imagine that in childhood, your father is violently taken from you in the most tragic fire in recent global memory. You're psychologically damaged from it into adulthood, and the loss permeates your human relationships. Now imagine your girlfriend from a self-described "normal family" abruptly breaks up with you, as she is "not strong enough" to stay, but then just as abruptly, one-eighties and wants you back because she misses you, as by her account, you were otherwise lovely to be with. Mentally ill from the get, abruptly abandoned, and now destabilized twice, you immediately seek and secure new love and validation. Now, imagine this ex-girlfriend publishes an essay in which she says the following about her experience of you moving on too quickly and publicly: "I looked through photos of me from when I was a kid. 'You had no idea this was going to happen to you,' I thought, looking at my nine-year-old self as if I had died in a tragic fire." Yea, you read that right. To Cazzie David, her breakup with Pete Davidson (which, let's not forget, she initiated) is comparable to having "died in a tragic fire." I think it should go without saying that breakups, no matter how horrible, are never akin to having "died in a tragic fire." You know what is precisely akin to having died in a tragic fire? Pete's father having died in a tragic fire. Fan of his or not, eyebrows are collectively furrowed at the cruelty of this self-centred, tone-deaf analogy. Self-victimization and underhanded cruelty pop up everywhere. Cazzie names the essay, "Erase Me," after a song by Pete's favourite artist, but the "Me" is now her because she fancies herself the victim. She doesn't insult Pete or Ariana Grande directly; she does it by including snippets of disparaging dialogue, which, although normal to exchange in the privacy of one’s own home, feel slimy to read in print two years on, especially since these do nothing to advance the narrative. She includes a part about her mother calling Pete "such a d*ck" and another of her friend calling Ariana an onslaught of insulting names including an "[effing] little bunny." No amount of her compliments about these two can mask her bitter intentions here. The characterization of Ariana is especially snide. Fan of hers or not, she doesn't deserve to be dragged in a stranger's book, especially not in such a petty, adolescent manner. Many of these essays should have been edited for structure or content, but "Erase Me" is by far the worst offender. Reading it felt unethical—as though I'd unwittingly become party to bullying and beleaguering two public figures who are, as it is, on the receiving end of enough unwarranted internet hatred. How great it would have been for my concerns to be merely stylistic. But no, the content had to be jarringly cruel and unfair. Once more, fan of theirs or not, the characterizations of Pete and Ariana as individuals are indeed objectively cruel and unfair. I particularly caution anyone who has suffered trauma, mental illness, grief, etc. to not read this book unless you are prepared to come away from it feeling narcissistically gaslit by the experience. The "misanthropy" and "dark[ness]" of this book the media celebrates is really just petty, bitter, underhanded cruelty towards specific individuals. If you do end up reading it, please don't pay for it. This isn't to say Cazzie David is a bad person or that she doesn't have potential as a writer; I don't know her, and the writing isn't the worst it could have been. Rather, I contend that basic kindness and maturity dictate that this book ought to have remained a diary. Truly, no one asked for this. P.S. My friend who started reading this essay said: "I had to stop reading after she compared her breakup to prison." Another friend took issue with the ignorant drug addiction analogy. Oh, if they only knew how much worse and varied the cruel analogies get.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Isabella Waltz

    i can’t believe people are so mad about this book... maybe it’s bc i would also rather die than throw up and also am constantly haunted by knowing the people i love will die someday but i felt seen and so entertained by this. and people calling her out for the pete davidson essay specifically? what the fuck? i spiral out of control if i see a guy i hooked up w post a pic w any other girl... of course she’s privileged af but to not sympathize w her over the ariana situation even?? why is everyone i can’t believe people are so mad about this book... maybe it’s bc i would also rather die than throw up and also am constantly haunted by knowing the people i love will die someday but i felt seen and so entertained by this. and people calling her out for the pete davidson essay specifically? what the fuck? i spiral out of control if i see a guy i hooked up w post a pic w any other girl... of course she’s privileged af but to not sympathize w her over the ariana situation even?? why is everyone being so hostile to her... it’s a fun read and i’m glad she’s sorting through all THAT!

  5. 4 out of 5

    Rachel

    About a month ago I read an interview with Cazzie David about her breakup with Pete Davidson. I could not for a million dollars tell you why I clicked on that article, having no emotional investment in either of these people, but here we are. I was struck by two things: how resonant I found the way Cazzie talks about anxiety, and the fact that she's open about having emetophobia, something I've struggled with since the age of eight. So that alone was enough to pique my curiosity about this essay About a month ago I read an interview with Cazzie David about her breakup with Pete Davidson. I could not for a million dollars tell you why I clicked on that article, having no emotional investment in either of these people, but here we are. I was struck by two things: how resonant I found the way Cazzie talks about anxiety, and the fact that she's open about having emetophobia, something I've struggled with since the age of eight. So that alone was enough to pique my curiosity about this essay collection.  The thing about this book is that you need to accept what it's trying to do and read it in good faith. Would this have been published if Cazzie weren't Larry David's daughter, of course not, but is she trying to join the ranks of great modern essayists like Jia Tolentino? Not in the slightest. These essays are self-indulgent, tone deaf, and solipsistic, but if you dwell on any of these things I promise you are taking this collection much more seriously than Cazzie is.  So let’s focus on the good, because I unabashedly loved this book. Cazzie’s writing won’t win any literary awards but she’s surprisingly incisive, especially when it comes to talking about anxiety and her fear of mortality. Another thing is, the more neurotypical you are, the less this book is going to resonate with you (not that you're necessarily neurotypical if you didn't like it). Cazzie makes absolutely no effort to be likable; she paints a portrait of what it's like to be fully in thrall of anxiety and the insidious ways it tears you apart from the inside out, affecting both your self-worth and your relationships. She makes comments like this, that are on one level dismissive and alienating (yes, some people simply "get really bad anxiety" and it's still a bitch for them to live with), and on another level were like looking into a mirror: "I never understood social media posts advising people that "it's okay to not feel good all the time!" Who said that wasn't okay? Who is so okay to the point where they need to be reminded that it's okay when they don't feel okay?! When people "reveal" they "get really bad anxiety," I'm dumbfounded, because I've never not been anxious long enough to "get" anxiety. It doesn't leave. Not ever." She’s also funny as hell. You’ll either get her humor or you won’t, and you’ll know by the end of the first essay which side you're on. But--surprisingly, for the fact that you're spending 300+ pages inside the head of an extremely unhappy person--this collection is fun. It's self-deprecating, it's clever, and above all else, it's an entertaining way to spend an afternoon. This isn't for everyone (clearly), but I just really 'got' this book; I got what Cazzie was trying to do with it and I also got Cazzie as a person, and it made me feel slightly less alone in the world whenever I picked it up. At the end of the day, that's all you can ask from a book like this. Thank you to Mariner Books and Netgalley for the advanced copy provided in exchange for an honest review.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Kevin Hall

    You ever read a book so bad you question the entire publishing industry as a whole.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer ~ TarHeelReader

    A friend of mine once told me that it’s best to have a book of essays or short stories on your nightstand. That way, when you can’t sleep, you can easily find something to read in a bite-sized amount. That’s just where I’ve had Cazzie David’s debut. Daughter of a celebrity, Cazzie’s essays are brutally honest and relatable. She takes on influencers and social media, anxiety, relationships, and more. My favorite parts are when Cazzie inserts humor, and I’m looking forward to reading more of her th A friend of mine once told me that it’s best to have a book of essays or short stories on your nightstand. That way, when you can’t sleep, you can easily find something to read in a bite-sized amount. That’s just where I’ve had Cazzie David’s debut. Daughter of a celebrity, Cazzie’s essays are brutally honest and relatable. She takes on influencers and social media, anxiety, relationships, and more. My favorite parts are when Cazzie inserts humor, and I’m looking forward to reading more of her thoughts in the future. I received a gifted copy. Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader

  8. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Curie

    I had a brief scroll through the reviews posted on here – she's really not that well liked, is she? Well, let me tell you: I thought she's hilarious. I laughed out loud multiply times, and that's kind of all I wanted from this probably-unnecessary-but-still-entertaining-memoir. Cazzie David is the daughter of Larry David, which by society-standards already makes her unlikeable by design. Who likes the children of famous people, who then all just seem to assume that they're talented, too? Reassur I had a brief scroll through the reviews posted on here – she's really not that well liked, is she? Well, let me tell you: I thought she's hilarious. I laughed out loud multiply times, and that's kind of all I wanted from this probably-unnecessary-but-still-entertaining-memoir. Cazzie David is the daughter of Larry David, which by society-standards already makes her unlikeable by design. Who likes the children of famous people, who then all just seem to assume that they're talented, too? Reassurance may be granted: she's absolutely and fully aware of it. And here to make all the jokes before you can. This book is a collection of essays in which she talks about her parents, dating, mental health, being privileged, breakups... you know, the usual stuff. What's probably not everybody's cup of tea is her very particular sense of humour. She's self-depricating to a fault, everything embarrasses her. I often find people being dramatic about their own existence boring, so turns out the only way I can enjoy that take on life is when it's self-aware and humorous. "Maybe God slipped up when distributing shame and I accidentally got all of my generation's allotment – which could explain why vloggers exist." There's one particular essay called Erase Me, in which she (without mentioning names, but the characters are easy to identify) thematises her break-up from Pete Davidson, who waited less than a week to then present his new girlfriend, pop starlet Ariana Grande. I don't care about any of these people (I don't even have a set opinion on Cazzie David as a human being, even after reading this), but this did make me wonder how she thought this would be received. As a self-proclaimed self-absorbed person, she doesn't actually accuse either Grande nor Davidson of anything, instead focussing on her own dramatic breakdown, but it obviously is a very one-sided portrayal of both of them and not a kind one. It left me wondering how much should be offered to the public for the sake of a laugh. This book won't change your life, but it doesn't want to, either. In all honesty, if you're picking this up because you want to use it as an inspiration to restructure your own life or broaden your horizon... this has never been it. I mean, look at the cover. Look at the title. This is short-lasting entertainment for a Sunday afternoon. And sometimes, that is all I want from a book. Just don't think about it too much.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Paula Hartman

    I had been really looking forward to reading this book but I was ultimately disappointed. Cazzie David, an extremely depressed and anxious individual, shares her thoughts and experiences with the reader. There was some humor but it was mostly Cazzie discussing how much she hated herself and life in general. The book read like a 15 year old's journal entries. Cazzie would probably benefit from some writing workshops if she plans on continuing as a professional writer. I can't recommend this book I had been really looking forward to reading this book but I was ultimately disappointed. Cazzie David, an extremely depressed and anxious individual, shares her thoughts and experiences with the reader. There was some humor but it was mostly Cazzie discussing how much she hated herself and life in general. The book read like a 15 year old's journal entries. Cazzie would probably benefit from some writing workshops if she plans on continuing as a professional writer. I can't recommend this book to anyone.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Amanda Lynn Hastings

    I love it! I get why people are complaining but I swear this is the most relatable thing I have read in a long time. If you hate it I feel like you missed the whole point. I'm 30 and I'm here for it. I love it! I get why people are complaining but I swear this is the most relatable thing I have read in a long time. If you hate it I feel like you missed the whole point. I'm 30 and I'm here for it.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Torrienne

    she's right, no one asked for this. if you're interested in this book solely for the pete davidson drama and not the anxious musings, self-deprecation, delusions, tone deafness, and excuse making of someone whose father is worth 950 million dollars as of 2020, save the money. That specific essay is called "erase me" and is just as privileged as the rest of the book. what she thinks is self aware, quirky and vulnerable...i just could not relate. i know the tone she writes in. some may find it end she's right, no one asked for this. if you're interested in this book solely for the pete davidson drama and not the anxious musings, self-deprecation, delusions, tone deafness, and excuse making of someone whose father is worth 950 million dollars as of 2020, save the money. That specific essay is called "erase me" and is just as privileged as the rest of the book. what she thinks is self aware, quirky and vulnerable...i just could not relate. i know the tone she writes in. some may find it endearing, i just think of every socially oblivious liberal chick who prides herself on not being like the others and see how she falls flat every time. it's boring, it's played, nice try i guess? this is a collection of essays for white women who blame third party voters for what happened in 2016 and the aggressively inclusive millennials who liked bernie bc they learned about him in their university's DSA chapter and for the grown women who still hate their mothers for being not AS attentive during their childhood as they should have been but still got three holidays a year and a beemer. the whole time, as i read this all i could think about was "wow does this woman really deserve the platform she was given to write this book? am i not being a #girlboss for wanting to have a conversation with this woman so cruel, she is reduced to tears and her father creates a highly racialized caricature of the incident on his 21 year old critically acclaimed premium cable tv show? how do i write a book? this seems pretty easy, i also have mental illness that i use as a scapegoat for my shitty behavior....hmmmmm.....class war *wink*?" as you can see this book has enraged me to my core. good job, art, i still have feelings.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Erin (The Grateful Poet)

    Save yourself time and money. I believe that CD is a LOVELY person, and talent does run in the family, but there is just zero writing talent or ability here, and her editors did not do her any favors. Sometimes the nicest thing a publishing house can say to a (relative of a) celebrity is "no." Save yourself time and money. I believe that CD is a LOVELY person, and talent does run in the family, but there is just zero writing talent or ability here, and her editors did not do her any favors. Sometimes the nicest thing a publishing house can say to a (relative of a) celebrity is "no."

  13. 4 out of 5

    brooke bonetti

    I am often reminded of how out of touch celebrities are -- this literature is my most recent supporting evidence. As echoed in the other reviews here, it is just not good. I won't repeat what dozens of others have already commented, but just wanted to say I cringed the entire length of the essay "Privileged Assistant". There is a way to talk about privilege. There is a way to talk about privilege as a white, wealthy, attractive person. This essay was certainly neither of these things. David was I am often reminded of how out of touch celebrities are -- this literature is my most recent supporting evidence. As echoed in the other reviews here, it is just not good. I won't repeat what dozens of others have already commented, but just wanted to say I cringed the entire length of the essay "Privileged Assistant". There is a way to talk about privilege. There is a way to talk about privilege as a white, wealthy, attractive person. This essay was certainly neither of these things. David was handed a production assistant role for Curb Your Enthusiasm by her father (creator). She almost makes a mockery of her time there (complaining about waking up early, about having gross lunches, about fooling her bosses, so on). I found the entire essay quite bothersome, as that position is a real job, a real livelihood, a real career, a real income for a lot of people. She didn't take the job seriously (obviously), because she didn't have to. That's fine and all and I'm glad she got to pretend like she was a normal person for a little bit, but some things don't need to be said out loud (this commentary). I am shocked that a publishing team read this essay (and really the entire book) and said "yeah, sounds good" -- it just goes to show you, the wealthy will always be able to do whatever the f*ck they want. Also, her INCESSANT use of CAPITAL LETTERS, made me feel sick.

  14. 4 out of 5

    Peter Dyer

    In an Instagram post announcing her first book of essays, Cazzie David wrote the caption, "This is the cover for my book which is out now for preorder and I am so scared[.]" There's a certain self-deprecation in the tone of that caption, a certain "yeah-I-wrote-a-book-but-it's-not-a-big-deal" attitude that is constant throughout "No One Asked For This," a 352-page tome that details various trials and tribulations Cazzie David runs into throughout her life. These trials and tribulations are made In an Instagram post announcing her first book of essays, Cazzie David wrote the caption, "This is the cover for my book which is out now for preorder and I am so scared[.]" There's a certain self-deprecation in the tone of that caption, a certain "yeah-I-wrote-a-book-but-it's-not-a-big-deal" attitude that is constant throughout "No One Asked For This," a 352-page tome that details various trials and tribulations Cazzie David runs into throughout her life. These trials and tribulations are made out to be extremely madcap, but end up coming off as very vanilla. Right from the jump, Cazzie David lets us know what sort of tone she'll be using throughout this book. In the book's introduction, she says (in a very long-winded manner) that she, to paraphrase, doesn't have a lot of life experience and isn't really sure why she's writing a book. We as the readers remain quite confused as to why she wrote a book, when it seems that she can't stand the sound of her own voice, much less the feel of her own writing. Cazzie David has adopted a certain self-deprecating "i'm trash lol" type of voice that has been used by artists like Phoebe Bridgers and writers like Darcie Wilder. It's a certain tone that comes with being sad on the Internet, but often comes off as cringey. As I write this, I realize that my Twitter bio is still "i am gen z trash" from when I made it that last year, so I'm making a mental note to change that after writing this review. It's 2021, we aren't calling ourselves "trash" anymore, and we aren't trying to strictly make jokes that revolve around wanting someone to touch our butts and buy us pizza. For people who are trying to make strides towards having better self-esteem, Cazzie David's book will seem less like a funny friend, and more like an acquaintance you met at a party who has since started texting you daily, oversharing about their mental illness when you really didn't ask. No One Asked For This is essentially a series of Finsta posts collected and pasted onto paper. In the first essay, in which David talks about her sister (someone who actually seems cool but is, for some reason, slandered throughout this entire book), David wants to go to a club with her friends so she can meet up with her childhood crush (whom she abbreviates as CC in the essay, as many things throughout this book are needlessly abbreviated). David is forced to bring her annoying sister to the club with her, and said annoying sister predictably drives away any chance of Cazzie and her childhood crush hooking up at the club. That essay was 26 pages, and contains unbelievable moments that remain a fixture throughout this collection, unbelievable moments that make it impossible to relate to the narrator. In the scene at the club, the altercation between Cazzie, her sister, and her "CC," is so movie-like that you wonder if it even happened. David relays these moments in so little detail that they almost seem implausible. Embellishing the truth is one thing, but the uber-relatability that David strives for in all of these essays makes them feel inauthentic. If books like "The Shame" by Makenna Goodman and "The Life of the Mind" by Christine Smallwood (two fabulous books that have come out in the past couple of years about millennial malaise) are meant to reflect back to us the fear that generally anxious middle-class Americans have for the future, No One Asked For This actually makes us feel like we're doing quite well. If we (the "we" here being used to represent middle class American readers) are able to take care of ourselves each day with a moderate amount of wealth, we deserve a big pat on the back. Cazzie David, whose father is worth $950 million, apparently can't get through the day without "banging [her] head against the nearest wall anytime [she feels] a rush of shame," something she claims she has an "addiction" to in the first essay of the book. In essays like "Almost Pretty," in which Cazzie David explains to us that she'll never be pretty, but only ever almost-pretty (one look at her Instagram and you'll see that she's the beauty standard: white, cis, thin, conventionally attractive), she never fully commits to the bit. I kept wishing that she would fully commit to the self-hating persona she crafted in the first couple pages of the book. It was annoying and a little fabricated, but I could have gotten used to that tone. Instead, David tries to turn each essay into a learning lesson. After spending much of an essay like "Almost Pretty" talking about how she's ugly and will never be as pretty as influencers, she abruptly ends with an empty platitude like, "Almost pretty people are almost always beautiful." This "we are all beautiful" sentiment is nice, but I put a humongous question mark next to the sentence because it just seemed to have come out of nowhere. David does this again in "Environ-mental Mom," in which she talks about growing up with her insane environmentalist mom. In one part, her mom berates one of Cazzie's friends for driving a "gas guzzling" car, and doubles down on her argument when the friend says that its all her family can afford. It's an example of casual classism that, for all the "acknowledging of her privilege" Cazzie does throughout the book, she can't seem to call out. After spewing out a bunch of stories about how crazy her mom is, Cazzie then flips the script to climb up on a soap box and preach to her readers (who, I can only assume, are mostly left-leaning people from Twitter) about how the planet is dying and we need to help fix it. It's one of the random call to arms that comes at the end of many of these essays. I kept wishing that David would commit to her dirtbag bit and stop trying to preach about social awareness through empty Instagram infographic-worthy platitudes. In one of the book's most polarizing essays, entitled "Too Full To Fuck," Davis discusses being unable to have sex after she's eaten "a hearty meal." Aside from being poorly written, (like many of these essays) this essay in particular is also just annoying. It feels like watching a self-proclaimed #girlboss stand on a stage, screaming "AM I RIGHT LADIES?" into a microphone, but getting zero cheers in response. Whatever thesis David is going for in this essay doesn't land, and the only thing that the reader takes away from it is the horrible metaphors and euphemisms she uses throughout this piece, which actually ended up being one of the shorter essays in the bunch. In this essay, she refers to someone cumming as "shooting their load," and, on a date with her boyfriend, says, when thinking about having sex after eating dinner and having ice cream, "both cannot occur because I do not have room in my stomach for a full dinner, two handfuls of cream, and a penis." I had a visceral, bodily reaction to many of the sentences David wrote in this piece. In a later essay, entitled "Moving Out," David enlists her mom and a friend to help her find a new apartment to move into, since she wants to move out of her dad's place (due to David believing that her father is too lax with the alarm system). The more memoir-ish moments that deal with her relationship with her parents have the potential to be touching, but her stories are so long-winded and filled with too many sitcom-esque "my family is so silly" anecdotes that the moments that have emotional potential lose their shine very quickly. David also goes wrong when she attempts to be relatable. Cazzie David isn't a celebrity who can get away with a memoir detailing her life of bourgeois decadence (and she knows that, as she's sure to remind you numerous times throughout this book). She's not problematic yet iconic like Paris Hilton - instead, she wants so badly for her readership to think she's one of us, when she so clearly isn't. I find it difficult to believe that many of the people who read this book will be able to relate to David begging her parents to buy her a beautiful home in Laurel Canyon. "Erase Me," the second to last essay in this collection, has become one of the most talked-about essays in the entire book. In this essay, David details her breakup with Pete Davidson, and how it feels to see him move on so quickly (with Ariana Grande, although those two eventually split as well). To be honest, I started to feel a certain kinship with David on a couple pages of this essay. I know how it feels to be so distraught about relationship stuff that you can't focus on anything else. I'm not going to fault her for reacting in the way that she did. However, the kinship I felt with her dissipated after she used metaphors like comparing her feelings post-breakup to "dying in a tragic fire," or making a really confusing comparison to describe Ariana and Pete advertising their relationship, "The two of them offered their relationship to the media eagerly and with pleasure, like a suicidal brunette walking into Ted Bundy's apartment." Again, I drew a ginormous question mark next to this passage. No One Asked For This is another in a long line of celebrity memoirs that attempt to be "relatable," but Cazzie David's attempts to do this so egregiously that it ends up being almost offensive. David, no matter how hard she tries, will never be one of us. She may have our mental illnesses, but she'll forever have the money to access better treatment and support, no matter how many times she half-heartedly "recognizes her privilege." Personally, I think she would start to feel better if she realized that she is just like some of the other children of celebrities, and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I hope David finds happiness, but that doesn't mean we have to read another one of her books to find out if she does.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Eva

    I very much so wanted to like David’s debut. However, I’m going to put blame on the editor for this one. There doesn’t seem like there was any input of (an honest) opinion from an outside perspective. Leaving a majority of her essays to seem like first drafts of an high school newsletter. David’s lack of confidence in herself (although clinical) is off putting. The book’s introduction starts with David’s almost “warning” that she in fact lacks the life experience to write a book. Her essay, “Pri I very much so wanted to like David’s debut. However, I’m going to put blame on the editor for this one. There doesn’t seem like there was any input of (an honest) opinion from an outside perspective. Leaving a majority of her essays to seem like first drafts of an high school newsletter. David’s lack of confidence in herself (although clinical) is off putting. The book’s introduction starts with David’s almost “warning” that she in fact lacks the life experience to write a book. Her essay, “Privileged Assistant” was (in her mind I believe) her way of saying she is aware of her privilege, yet so poorly executed that is was rather a notion of - I know I’m privileged and I’m still not willing to work for anything. Her attempt to gain credibility away from her father’s career is not looking too promising. Although, I know it won’t slow her down. I do believe she has a strong understanding of humor, and I hope it will translate better on-screen, than it did in these essays. I’m wishing her all the best for her future projects.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Ella Feldman

    It’s unclear whether Cazzie David actually wants anybody to read her debut essay collection. For starters, it’s called No One Asked for This. “I regret every word I’ve ever said out loud,” the 26-year-old writes in the book’s introduction. In the second of three chapters titled “Tweets I Would Tweet If I Weren’t Morally Opposed to Twitter,” David tucks an apology into her list of fake-tweets: “It seems you’re still reading my book. I’m so sorry.” Why would someone who is embarrassed by everything It’s unclear whether Cazzie David actually wants anybody to read her debut essay collection. For starters, it’s called No One Asked for This. “I regret every word I’ve ever said out loud,” the 26-year-old writes in the book’s introduction. In the second of three chapters titled “Tweets I Would Tweet If I Weren’t Morally Opposed to Twitter,” David tucks an apology into her list of fake-tweets: “It seems you’re still reading my book. I’m so sorry.” Why would someone who is embarrassed by everything she says publish a book filled with 19 intimate essays about her life and more than 100 imaginary tweets? It’s a question David asks herself while introducing her book; in a painfully self-deprecating tone the reader will become accustomed to, she chalks it up to her proclivity for self-sabotage. But it takes a certain kind of person to land a massive deal on a book she doesn’t even seem sure she wants people to read. David, daughter of comedian Larry David and environmental activist Laurie David, is exactly it: wealthy, White, attractive, and well-followed on Instagram. David makes sure to let her reader know that she’s aware of this privilege. Throughout her essays—which revolve around her family, her self-proclaimed obsession with boys, and her five anxiety disorders—she frequently expresses remorse for finding things to complain about in a life most people couldn’t dream of having. She groans about enduring inpatient psychological treatment programs and her mom refusing to buy her a house when she was 24, but not without guilty asides about how lucky she is to have those concerns to begin with. Rather than interrogate her position in society, David seems to believe that mere acknowledgement deserves absolution. full review here: https://washingtoncitypaper.com/artic...

  17. 4 out of 5

    Patricia

    Do not read this book if you are not a sensitive person, honestly you won’t like it.If you read the essays and still talk trash, clearly you are failing as a human being, compassion and understanding for what you are reading may be more important than the structure of the sentence. The emotion behind is more valuable than the aesthetics. Writing like any other art, is a release from the feelings of the artist, not something created to please others. Some books are good because they are well writt Do not read this book if you are not a sensitive person, honestly you won’t like it.If you read the essays and still talk trash, clearly you are failing as a human being, compassion and understanding for what you are reading may be more important than the structure of the sentence. The emotion behind is more valuable than the aesthetics. Writing like any other art, is a release from the feelings of the artist, not something created to please others. Some books are good because they are well written. Some books are good because you relate to them. Some books are able to create both. Not being able to relate at all to a highly Sensitive person and instead hate on them, clearly shows the level of superficiality most readers swim in.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Stella

    No One Asked for This, indeed. This is so navel gazing that it goes through the bellybutton and out the back. It's tone deaf, self centered and reeks of privilege. Celebrity boyfriends, safaris to Africa, working on a set....because your father gave you the job. I sure Cazzie is aware of how self-centered this entire collection in. I'm sure she's talked about it therapy. Sometimes - those thoughts and the depressed ramblings that would be better suited for LiveJournal in 2001 should have stayed i No One Asked for This, indeed. This is so navel gazing that it goes through the bellybutton and out the back. It's tone deaf, self centered and reeks of privilege. Celebrity boyfriends, safaris to Africa, working on a set....because your father gave you the job. I sure Cazzie is aware of how self-centered this entire collection in. I'm sure she's talked about it therapy. Sometimes - those thoughts and the depressed ramblings that would be better suited for LiveJournal in 2001 should have stayed inside. Thanks to NetGalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read and review this "book".

  19. 5 out of 5

    scarlett victoria

    i’d like to think she appreciates that i hate-read this book.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Mattie Driscoll

    being generous

  21. 5 out of 5

    Elaine

    The title of the book says it all - very whiny collection of essays that really don’t serve much purpose beyond showing how children of celebrities squander their positions of privilege. I thought Cazzie seemed adequately funny, interesting and talented from her web series but reading her actual thoughts in way too many words has really colored my impression. It seems as if she never left the teen age - can’t really fathom an adult using angst and misanthropy in place of a personality. Giving a The title of the book says it all - very whiny collection of essays that really don’t serve much purpose beyond showing how children of celebrities squander their positions of privilege. I thought Cazzie seemed adequately funny, interesting and talented from her web series but reading her actual thoughts in way too many words has really colored my impression. It seems as if she never left the teen age - can’t really fathom an adult using angst and misanthropy in place of a personality. Giving a generous two stars because at least she has some form of self awareness (albeit doesn’t do much to course correct) and I also laughed a few times throughout.

  22. 4 out of 5

    Kit

    4.5 My eyes hurt from the intensity with which I devoured Cazzie David's debut, No One Asked for This: Essays. Hilarious, smart, acerbic in the best way. More! *Disclaimer: if a privileged daughter of a celebrity's essays about her myriad insecurities/neuroses are going to be annoying to you, don't read this book. David acknowledges her privilege more times than I can count... but those aren't things she can change. If you want to read about a "good" person, or a "likable" person, and you think of 4.5 My eyes hurt from the intensity with which I devoured Cazzie David's debut, No One Asked for This: Essays. Hilarious, smart, acerbic in the best way. More! *Disclaimer: if a privileged daughter of a celebrity's essays about her myriad insecurities/neuroses are going to be annoying to you, don't read this book. David acknowledges her privilege more times than I can count... but those aren't things she can change. If you want to read about a "good" person, or a "likable" person, and you think of yourself as a "good" and "likable" person... if you don't laugh at yourself. If you love taking photos to post to instagram, if you fancy yourself a budding influencer. If you generally take things seriously... if you are usually able to avoid existential dread. If you never gossip about your friends to your other friends... If you can look at your aging parents and not be constantly inundated with the knowledge of their certain impending death... don't read this book. ...but for sh*theads like me, it's a rare treat.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Calla Kessler

    Cazzie, let’s be friends and smoke weed together. Also, are you okay?

  24. 5 out of 5

    Margot

    Nate got me this book as a joke for Christmas, so naturally I read the whole thing out of spite. And now, for my scathing review: this fucking sucked. Absolute fucking garbage from start to finish, I have never seen a more embarrassing nor unabashed display of nepotism and unfounded indignation in my entire goddamn life. Very aptly titled “No One Asked For This,” Cazzie’s momentary bout of self-awareness stops there, as her pitifully adolescent style of essay writing reads self-conscious at best Nate got me this book as a joke for Christmas, so naturally I read the whole thing out of spite. And now, for my scathing review: this fucking sucked. Absolute fucking garbage from start to finish, I have never seen a more embarrassing nor unabashed display of nepotism and unfounded indignation in my entire goddamn life. Very aptly titled “No One Asked For This,” Cazzie’s momentary bout of self-awareness stops there, as her pitifully adolescent style of essay writing reads self-conscious at best for the remaining 300+ pages of this atrocity. Her uninspired, anti-climactic internet-centered musings could perhaps be forgiven if her literary voice was even kind of funny or interesting, but sadly her mundane account of jobless rich girl millennialhood is never intriguing enough to keep this from being total horse shit. Cazzie is 27, lives with her dad (critically acclaimed comedy writer Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, she continuously reminds us), and is addicted to her phone. Because of this, we are supposed to feel really bad for her, and resonate with how caustic & uncaring she is towards her friends, family, and significant others alike. Oh, and also because she has anxiety and depression. You know, those mental illnesses no one talks about. While taking good care to recite every one of her neuroses, moral failings & deep-seated flaws to her unwilling audience, Cazzie is simultaneously hell-bent on assuring us she *knows* how shameful & embarrassing her ineptitude at being a person is, and freely acknowledges the amount of privilege, love, & support she has received & benefitted from her entire life. Yet, in the very same breath, she insists her experiences with anxiety & depression are singular, and no one—NO ONE—could possibly understand the debilitating hypersensitivity she experiences every day. Not even her ex-boyfriend with BPD (yes, Pete Davidson) whose constant need for reassurance & emotional support lead her to end their relationship. No no, he can’t relate to her—that was something totally different! He was mean & crazy! Aside from the piss-poor elementary style of writing & mind-numbingly boring content we are mercilessly subjected to, the real disgrace here—even more than her claims of getting “too full to fuck” or wishing there was a “third gender for non-idiots”—is her utter failure to showcase why she *is* worth caring about. Why the fuck *am* I reading this?! Cazzie reassures us time and time again that she knows she has no qualifications or reasonable justification to be writing ANYTHING (let alone a whole ass book) other than to garner more attention for herself outside of being the fail-daughter of a celebrity. We are never for a moment to forget that this is an unoriginal, uninteresting person, who would not be given a moment of the public’s time or interest had she been born to a more conventional, non-famous family—and she knows it! And wants us to know she knows it! Which somehow makes her unrelenting self-involvement okay. This purported argument appears to be the thesis of this mess, that Cazzie is a person we should care about because she *knows* there’s no reason to care about her. Apparently, she thinks self-awareness is not only enough to absolve her of her complete lack of talent and/or positive qualities, but also reason enough to be the subject of… an entire book. An unsurprisingly ass-backwards conclusion for the world’s most unsympathetic narrator to draw. Cazzie is an insurmountably difficult person to muster up sympathy for, as any acknowledgement of privilege or triviality quickly devolves into yet another irritating round of public self flagellation. “I know I’m selfish & that makes me hate myself more!! Wahhh!!” But there is no moment of absolution for our poor, tortured soliloquizer. Hating yourself does not absolve you from being a bad person, nor does it promise the inherent relatability of your material—you know, coming from a family of multi-millionaires & all. Yes yes sure, there may be a kind of generational relatability to this introverted caricature who smokes weed every day and thinks self-proclaimed empaths are sooo embarrassing. But by trying to establish herself as the antithesis of the influencer culture she so boldly proclaims to hate, Cazzie commits to an alternate form of influencership, one that encapsulates a sect of internet culture far more prevalent in younger millennial & gen z social circles—doomposting. The internet is obsessed with emotional exhibitionism, and Cazzie is at least smart enough to exploit her own psychological demons (albeit, her very boring, twee, Olivia Rodrigo ass version), for perhaps an hour of attention from Bitch Media subscribers. Sure, she’s a bad writer and has nothing to say, but her moody, Victorian looks and nihilist perception of people who are beautiful & happy will surely resonate with the emo-cosplaying borings of the 2020s. But did I mention she’s Larry David’s daughter & Pete Davidson’s ex? Yeah, she does too.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Samantha

    This is what I get for choosing a book based on its cover. Admittedly, I suspect teen me would have liked this book. Would have found it witty and cool and self-aware in ways I wasn't. Given that I'm, erm, far removed from those teen years, though....maybe it just isn't for me. Or maybe I'm trying to be nice and it's actually bad. Another admission: I didn't know Cazzie David was the daughter of Larry David until I was a good way into the book (I'm telling you, I literally picked this up because o This is what I get for choosing a book based on its cover. Admittedly, I suspect teen me would have liked this book. Would have found it witty and cool and self-aware in ways I wasn't. Given that I'm, erm, far removed from those teen years, though....maybe it just isn't for me. Or maybe I'm trying to be nice and it's actually bad. Another admission: I didn't know Cazzie David was the daughter of Larry David until I was a good way into the book (I'm telling you, I literally picked this up because of the cover). It clicked for me then why it was published, as there's no way it would have surpassed the personal blog stage if David wasn't the child of a celebrity. I'm sure she's a funny person, and some of these essays would have been great....on a blog! But together, as a book, it misses the mark. She and her family aren't as eccentric as the book brands them, her stories aren't particularly unique or worthy of a whole essay, a lot of the content feels repetitive and self-indulgent with no real point. Every funny person doesn't need a book! I bumped this up a star because David does write in a relatable and self-aware way about anxiety and depression. This content is unfortunately just drowning too much in her under-acknowledged privilege. Also, for all the clarity she writes about mental illness, she's far less self-aware about other things (her relationship with her sister; watching an ex move on; and yes, there is a classic "I'm a pretty girl writing about what it's like to not be pretty" essay). If she writes another book (and I'm sure she'll easily get another deal), it would be entirely unsurprising to see an essay in it addressing the bad reviews this one received and David's "of course, because my life is so unfair" analysis.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Jenna

    Super relatable for me and super funny.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Fredrik deBoer

    Perhaps Exhibit A when making the case that dysfunction and unhappiness are not inherently interesting or deep. Yes, you have depression and anxiety, and yes, I have sympathy. But so what?

  28. 5 out of 5

    Laura

    Ever since I watched Eighty-Sixed for the first time (I feel compelled to make this distinction because I’ve watched it literally dozens of times since 2017 and if you haven’t watched it yet you’re MISSING OUT), I’ve been a Cazzie David cheerleader. I truly think she is the voice the Millennial generation doesn’t *yet* know we actually somewhat desperately need. She comes for influencer culture as much as she does herself, which strikes a refreshing comedic balance of being neither wholly extros Ever since I watched Eighty-Sixed for the first time (I feel compelled to make this distinction because I’ve watched it literally dozens of times since 2017 and if you haven’t watched it yet you’re MISSING OUT), I’ve been a Cazzie David cheerleader. I truly think she is the voice the Millennial generation doesn’t *yet* know we actually somewhat desperately need. She comes for influencer culture as much as she does herself, which strikes a refreshing comedic balance of being neither wholly extrospective nor introspective. Her observations, and commentary on her observations, are simultaneously honest and apologetic. ⠀ I once saw a tiktok (I’m sorry) with audio that stated something to the effect of, “The Millennial generation has literally one thing that no other generation does, and that is an active awareness of how much we suck.” Cazzie David is the embodiment of this audio - she constantly acknowledges, in vivid detail, how imperfect and flawed she is, which somewhat ironically lends credence to the validity of her subsequent observations of how flawed and imperfect (and material) the our society is. ⠀ I’m not usually one for celebrity essays or memoirs because I find them either vapid or ghostwritten or too try-hard (with some notable exceptions of course), but this couldn’t be further from any of those things. This book is honest, genuine, insightful, perceptive, and HILARIOUS. Cazzie blends self awareness and self deprecation with such creativity and artistry that it’s quite clear she was born with a gift, even though her anxiety occasionally gave me anxiety as I was reading. ⠀ So much of No One Asked for This it is surprisingly relatable, and the parts of it that aren’t relatable per se (to me at least) were, for the most part, hysterical. Having said that, it’s an intelligent book that wasn’t designed solely for humor, so there’s some raw social commentary, sensitivity, and poignancy incorporated throughout as well. Highly recommend reading this. (And watching Eighty-Sixed!!!)

  29. 4 out of 5

    Adastrainfinitum

    I can't even rate this. It's pure unadulterated garbage and the grammar and punctuation errors are enough, to make me want to get out my red sharpie marker, and correct the horrendous grammatical and punctuation errors and put a huge sparkly F+, on each page! Did her dad pay for her degree too? For God's sakes! How did she get through college? Where did she get her college degree from? A hut, with a desk in third world country, where the English Language hasn't yet been taught or discovered? I c I can't even rate this. It's pure unadulterated garbage and the grammar and punctuation errors are enough, to make me want to get out my red sharpie marker, and correct the horrendous grammatical and punctuation errors and put a huge sparkly F+, on each page! Did her dad pay for her degree too? For God's sakes! How did she get through college? Where did she get her college degree from? A hut, with a desk in third world country, where the English Language hasn't yet been taught or discovered? I cannot believe that someone, who calls themselves a literary agent, confidently published this trash, after reviewing this dribble, and gave her a publishing deal. They actually wasted trees for paper and ink to produce this trash? A tree died in vain people! This book is only good for taring out the pages and wiping your ass with when you run out of toilet paper for the pandemic. This is white celebrity privilege and entitlement in action, at it's greatest! Anyone who says this is a great book, is obviously trash and has no self-respect, character or dignity, let alone a functional working brain, in their skull. Who would take the time to publish this? How can she have the audacity to write a series of autobiographical essays about her life, when she hasn't really lived a real full life worth documenting, that wasn't bought or paid for by her mother and father's fame and name? Who did the proof-reading and editing? FIRE THEM and never give Cazzie David a book deal again. Why should we care about her breakup with a drug abusing sloth of a slithering slug, cover in tattoos? Her life isn't hard. It was never hard. How hard is it, to grow up as a spoiled rich and famous brat? I guess if a publishing company will publish this garbage, then I ought to write a book, filled with photos of my dog's shit shapes and patterns and shapes and then publish it!

  30. 5 out of 5

    EJ

    Wow, some of y’all big mad that a young, smart, sarcastic, attractive woman with family money went ahead and wrote a book huh?!?!? God forbid a woman not go out of her way to be likeable! sheesh. Here’s the thing about Cazzie David’s book: it is peak millennial, it’s super self aware and self deprecating, and it is extremely sarcastic. So if you can’t pick up on sarcasm, are not 16-30 years old, and have never had anxiety, this one probably will not resonate with you. I appreciated Cazzie’s cando Wow, some of y’all big mad that a young, smart, sarcastic, attractive woman with family money went ahead and wrote a book huh?!?!? God forbid a woman not go out of her way to be likeable! sheesh. Here’s the thing about Cazzie David’s book: it is peak millennial, it’s super self aware and self deprecating, and it is extremely sarcastic. So if you can’t pick up on sarcasm, are not 16-30 years old, and have never had anxiety, this one probably will not resonate with you. I appreciated Cazzie’s candor and I really enjoyed her sharp wit and the sardonic tone. She really nails the discussion of her personal anxieties and phobias, and I think she will go on to be a very good writer with a prolific career. My criticism is really that some of these essays felt redundant, and the book could have been shorter. Some of her best work was when she talked about her very public, devastating breakup from a long term relationship with someone struggling with a mental illness, her experience in in-patient mental health clinics, and some of her family experiences. It’s clear that she’s an extremely perceptive, intelligent, self-aware person. Other essays were a bit rambly, which overshadowed the core of what the individual essay itself was about. It lacked polish in places, but hey- shes 26 and wrote her first book, and you gotta start somewhere. Looking forward to reading more from her in the future.

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