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Love Without Emergency: I Want This but I Feel Like I'm Going to Die: Writings on Trauma, Attachment, and Polyamory

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Love Without Emergency: I Want This But I Feel Like I’m Going to Die is a collection of writing on trauma, attachment, and polyamory. For the first time, I have collected all my writing on the subject in one place. The pieces in this zine were written between 2014 and 2019; including my early writing on polyamory as well as my more recent work. This zine moves away from si Love Without Emergency: I Want This But I Feel Like I’m Going to Die is a collection of writing on trauma, attachment, and polyamory. For the first time, I have collected all my writing on the subject in one place. The pieces in this zine were written between 2014 and 2019; including my early writing on polyamory as well as my more recent work. This zine moves away from simple (and often judgmental/shaming) frameworks around managing jealousy, and toward a recognition of the distress traumatized and attachment injured people can feel when trying to navigate polyamory. Understanding distress as an embodied, nervous system experience, rather than simply a cognitive one, this collection of writing is trauma and attachment informed. Normalizing and validating distress while exploring the experience of earning secure attachment and developing nervous system regulation, this zine draws on both my personal experience as an anxiously attached polyamorous person living with c-ptsd, and my experience as a facilitator teaching my Trauma Informed Polyamory workshop. It’s a thick zine with fourteen pieces of writing covering topics such as non-hierarchical polyamory, queer platonic love, shame, anxious preoccupied attachment, avoidant attachment, desiring polyamory, and nervous system regulation. With a bright pink risograph cover, this zine celebrates trauma survivors and the hard work and great courage we put into love.


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Love Without Emergency: I Want This But I Feel Like I’m Going to Die is a collection of writing on trauma, attachment, and polyamory. For the first time, I have collected all my writing on the subject in one place. The pieces in this zine were written between 2014 and 2019; including my early writing on polyamory as well as my more recent work. This zine moves away from si Love Without Emergency: I Want This But I Feel Like I’m Going to Die is a collection of writing on trauma, attachment, and polyamory. For the first time, I have collected all my writing on the subject in one place. The pieces in this zine were written between 2014 and 2019; including my early writing on polyamory as well as my more recent work. This zine moves away from simple (and often judgmental/shaming) frameworks around managing jealousy, and toward a recognition of the distress traumatized and attachment injured people can feel when trying to navigate polyamory. Understanding distress as an embodied, nervous system experience, rather than simply a cognitive one, this collection of writing is trauma and attachment informed. Normalizing and validating distress while exploring the experience of earning secure attachment and developing nervous system regulation, this zine draws on both my personal experience as an anxiously attached polyamorous person living with c-ptsd, and my experience as a facilitator teaching my Trauma Informed Polyamory workshop. It’s a thick zine with fourteen pieces of writing covering topics such as non-hierarchical polyamory, queer platonic love, shame, anxious preoccupied attachment, avoidant attachment, desiring polyamory, and nervous system regulation. With a bright pink risograph cover, this zine celebrates trauma survivors and the hard work and great courage we put into love.

30 review for Love Without Emergency: I Want This but I Feel Like I'm Going to Die: Writings on Trauma, Attachment, and Polyamory

  1. 4 out of 5

    K

    I don't want to rate this low because it's a zine, but I honestly find Clementine's instagram more insightful than this? This felt very basic, could have used some editing (typos/phrasing etc), and also felt very very white. I think the foundation is good, and this is a good starting point, but I would have loved to see the main ideas filled out a little more. I found one of the essays helpful for a deeper conversation, but maybe I should stop reading stuff about nonmonogamy from white people. I don't want to rate this low because it's a zine, but I honestly find Clementine's instagram more insightful than this? This felt very basic, could have used some editing (typos/phrasing etc), and also felt very very white. I think the foundation is good, and this is a good starting point, but I would have loved to see the main ideas filled out a little more. I found one of the essays helpful for a deeper conversation, but maybe I should stop reading stuff about nonmonogamy from white people.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Ellyn

    Absolutely wonderful resource for exploring complex PTSD, various levels of trauma triggers interactions, attachment styles and how polyamory can intersect and affect all the above. Not many guidebooks on polyamorous relationships are this compassionate nor sensitive towards the distress that loving without limits or social norms can bring. It felt like so much of my mental health recovery is easier to notice and navigate with self-compassion and validation thanks to Love Without Emergency!

  3. 5 out of 5

    Vari Robinson

    Note about the author: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCJ2iGdhE... Note about the author: https://www.instagram.com/p/CCJ2iGdhE...

  4. 5 out of 5

    Chananja

    i honestly think this just wasn't for me. don't want to give this 1 star because i think it could be helpful to others but really not for me. just rlly didn't think this was insightful at all. i started reading this because i was looking for something to read on polyamory that isn't self-help necessarily and takes a critical look at the community. i thought the writer made a start with that in about every essay, then sort of never finished that thought, ending the essay prematurely by writing "ye i honestly think this just wasn't for me. don't want to give this 1 star because i think it could be helpful to others but really not for me. just rlly didn't think this was insightful at all. i started reading this because i was looking for something to read on polyamory that isn't self-help necessarily and takes a critical look at the community. i thought the writer made a start with that in about every essay, then sort of never finished that thought, ending the essay prematurely by writing "yeah. someone should fucking think about that!" and then the next essay that just happened again. it introduces some stuff i want to think and read more about, such as the call for intersectionality and sensitivy towards personal situations complicating polyamory, the exposure of the suspiciously neo-liberal tendencies of the community (such as its obsession with self-reliance, its move away from mutual care, especially when dealing with these emotions, that you should own, etc), the special place femmes and their bodies hold in this, etc. but to say this zine even started to explore them beyond mentioning them is a stretch. i guess the zine does excell at being compassionate towards the more difficult feelings that might come along with polyamory and why people might be finding themselves in such a situation. however, i thought it was also lacking here as the only one of these feelings mentioned is jealousy jealousy jealousy hey have you heard about jealousy? again, this feeling is only mentioned: i don't think its explored at all. it does manage to be super compassionate and not diminishing the writer's strength while talking about this. i think that's cool, and can be helpful to some, especially to those struggling with jealousy and who have rarely encountered compassion from their community or themselves about that. however, i am really just not that person, and i don't think this zine does more than that.

  5. 5 out of 5

    cosima concordia

    The most radical thing that Love Without Emergency does is acknowledge that polyamory can make our nervous systems freak out and make us feel like we're dying. Through this simple idea she builds an approach to polyamory that honors every complexity of our trauma histories in a way to move into a non-traditional relationship style that may have previously felt closed off to us. The most radical thing that Love Without Emergency does is acknowledge that polyamory can make our nervous systems freak out and make us feel like we're dying. Through this simple idea she builds an approach to polyamory that honors every complexity of our trauma histories in a way to move into a non-traditional relationship style that may have previously felt closed off to us.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Carlos Gurpegui

    Es un zine muy interesante (y muy duro, así que TW). Esta pequeña colección de ensayos de Clementine se mueve entre la teoría queer, la resistencia y sanación a traumas del pasado y su relación con el poliamor tanto como disparador de antiguos miedos como herramienta de curación. Es difícil hablar de ello, pero sin lugar a dudas es una lectura de lo más interesante (y necesaria). Es uno de los pocos textos, o colección de textos, que he leído que aborde las no-monogamias desde el trauma y el dol Es un zine muy interesante (y muy duro, así que TW). Esta pequeña colección de ensayos de Clementine se mueve entre la teoría queer, la resistencia y sanación a traumas del pasado y su relación con el poliamor tanto como disparador de antiguos miedos como herramienta de curación. Es difícil hablar de ello, pero sin lugar a dudas es una lectura de lo más interesante (y necesaria). Es uno de los pocos textos, o colección de textos, que he leído que aborde las no-monogamias desde el trauma y el dolor (tanto el que muchos llevan encima de base como el que puede generar una relación fuera de la monogamia).

  7. 4 out of 5

    Calvin Read

    I fell for Clementine's work just as quickly as I fell out of love with it. There are a lot of helpful essays in here, and I'm sure that reading some of them would bring comfort to others in knowing that they're not alone in the way that they're feeling. For me, though, it felt less like something intended to help others and more like a personal blog. Which, I ultimately, her work is. So I don't know what I was expecting. In a lot of cases it felt rambly and self-indulgent. :/ Idk. There are a lot I fell for Clementine's work just as quickly as I fell out of love with it. There are a lot of helpful essays in here, and I'm sure that reading some of them would bring comfort to others in knowing that they're not alone in the way that they're feeling. For me, though, it felt less like something intended to help others and more like a personal blog. Which, I ultimately, her work is. So I don't know what I was expecting. In a lot of cases it felt rambly and self-indulgent. :/ Idk. There are a lot of really great insights, I just felt like I had to mine for them. I took some extra time after finishing the book to respond to the reflection questions offered at her workshops, and those were also helpful to externalize some things that I may have known internally but never articulated. I'm also just trying not to put anyone on a pedestal, and I did that with her work initially, then realized that there were some big blind spots.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Ari

    Big rec for people who are interested in polyamory from a trauma perspective, and for everyone else. Everyone should read this. So good.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Jessi

    This zine brought me to tears with how validating and shame shattering it is. Clementines work is so validating and powerful for me as a trauma survivor. She puts into words, unapologetically, what healing from sexual trauma is like. I appreciate her voice and her demonstration of what it is like to reclaim your sexuality and your trauma.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Chaela-.-

    An incredibly deep and naked exploration of love in all it’s uncensored glory and the pain of loving with and from a place of trauma. This collection of essays is raw and beautiful and gives an element of authenticity and empowerment I have never seen before. Incredible!

  11. 4 out of 5

    Lindsay Wiggs

    This was shared with me by a my very first true metamour as a means of connecting in a world that is very new for me. Each piece made me feel seen and not so doomed to failing as free loving poly person. This opened the floodgates of deeper healing for me.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Jesse

    It was validating and reassuring to read about another queer person’s experiences of complex ptsd. There were also some great thinking points and resources for helping to navigate complex trauma within non-monogamous relationships. An accessible and enjoyable read.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Raf

    This book gave me so so so much hope and helped me and many of my friends access love and compassion and a way forward. Clementine has a way of articulating the raw edge of living with trauma/anxious attachment styles while still offering a messy human way forward. Forever grateful for this read.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Daniel Elder

    Delightful lil volume. Really comforting. Will revisit.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Joshua

    This little zine is packed with artful and useful sharing. I'd buy ten copies of this to hand out to friends. I was deeply moved in the reading of this. This little zine is packed with artful and useful sharing. I'd buy ten copies of this to hand out to friends. I was deeply moved in the reading of this.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Moniqa

    Beautiful, deep, honest, vulnerable, important, validating, affirming, resonant work.

  17. 4 out of 5

    a

    I loved how honest and raw this zine is.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Gabrielle

    Very helpful for my partner and I to read together and discuss as we practice polyamory and remain committed to one another.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Authorized Amy

    Content: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Intent: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Writing: ⭐⭐ Workshop excerpts: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

  20. 5 out of 5

    Pallas

    Just finished a very timely reread of this. It grounded me and helped me along a very tough time.

  21. 4 out of 5

    Tal Eli

  22. 5 out of 5

    Nerine

  23. 4 out of 5

    Alyssa

  24. 4 out of 5

    Andrea

  25. 5 out of 5

    Mike Goren

  26. 4 out of 5

    Hannah

  27. 4 out of 5

    Erin

  28. 5 out of 5

    Amber

  29. 5 out of 5

    Paige

  30. 4 out of 5

    Angie Tague

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