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Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance

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Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa


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Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining Picking up right at the point where Janet Woititz’s 1990 hit book Adult Children of Alcoholics left off, clinical psychologist Tian Dayton’s latest contribution contains fresh perspectives and new analysis on how to gain back emotional stability after growing up with the trauma of addiction, abuse, and dysfunction. Dr. Dayton accomplishes this by presenting and explaining the latest research in neuropsychology and the role trauma plays on chemically altering the brain. With compassion and clear explanations and her own personal journey, Dayton teaches readers how to undo the neuropsychological damage of trauma to rewire the brain and reverse the negative effects trauma has on our future relationships and behaviors to gain emotional sobriety. In Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton teaches readers: How to understand the mind/body relationship of addiction and relationship trauma How to rewire your brain to undo the negative effects trauma has on personal, career, and romantic relationships How changing the way one lives and perceives adult relationships can change the way one thinks and feels and vice versa

30 review for Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance

  1. 4 out of 5

    Nichole Maybe

    More like 3.5 stars. My therapist recommended this book because it focuses on adult children of alcoholics/substance abusers. I would read a few chapters throughout the week, highlighting passages that resonated with me, and then we'd discuss them during my therapy session. I found this to be a really useful exercise in staying engaged with therapy outside of sessions. This book contained many comforting and helpful passages, but I did find myself wanting her to elaborate more in certain section More like 3.5 stars. My therapist recommended this book because it focuses on adult children of alcoholics/substance abusers. I would read a few chapters throughout the week, highlighting passages that resonated with me, and then we'd discuss them during my therapy session. I found this to be a really useful exercise in staying engaged with therapy outside of sessions. This book contained many comforting and helpful passages, but I did find myself wanting her to elaborate more in certain sections. In particular, I'd read a section that I'd recognize myself or my experiences in, but too soon the chapter would be over or she had moved on to something else. I wanted more insight into why and how these things happen (for example, the vicious cycle of fear or how trauma affects the limbic system). Also, a few chapters ended with suggestions such as journaling prompts or strategies for managing anger. I wanted to see more of this. However, my therapist was helpful in filling in these blanks. Overall, I'd recommend this book to others who grew up in unstable households and/or with an addict parent/caregiver, especially as an exercise in therapy.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Robin Steinberg

    4 Stars. Tian Dayton has written an insightful guide for adults looking to uncover and process the emotional baggage they carry from their dysfunctional childhoods (which, arguably, could be anyone's childhood -- what family doesn't have some level of dysfunction?) to become more emotionally balanced and fulfilled in their adult lives and relationships. Dayton spends a good bit of the book discussing psychological and scientific research, which can be dry and monotonous at times, and may be chal 4 Stars. Tian Dayton has written an insightful guide for adults looking to uncover and process the emotional baggage they carry from their dysfunctional childhoods (which, arguably, could be anyone's childhood -- what family doesn't have some level of dysfunction?) to become more emotionally balanced and fulfilled in their adult lives and relationships. Dayton spends a good bit of the book discussing psychological and scientific research, which can be dry and monotonous at times, and may be challenging for someone who doesn't have at least a beginner's background in the study of academic psychology. However, if you can get beyond the somewhat textbook-like nature of the book, there is a great deal of insight and value to the material she presents in the book. Reading this along with my book club, we each came away with some valuable insights about how our various experiences within our families-of-origin have influenced our patterns of emotional regulation/dysregulation and positive/negative behaviors as adults. For example, growing up in a household with a step-parent with an unpredictable, explosive temper heightened my own fight/flight response and contributed to my tendency to actively avoid and fear conflict. This is something I already knew about myself, but Dayton explored this concept in a deep way that I found helpful to reflect upon. For anyone interested in exploring the roots of their own emotional patterns, I think this book can be a very helpful guide. Also, I saw on Amazon that there is a companion workbook for this book which I suspect would be very useful to someone who really wants to take a deep, introspective dive into their own patterns of emotional response and dysfunctional behaviors.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Shelley Lee

    I picked up this book to chase down the emotional volatility that I sometimes experience. Very quickly the pages brought understanding of myself and others. Truth is, we all have some kind of relationship trauma. Finding healing one revelation at a time keeps me on the path to wholeness for my own sake and those whom I love. In the toolbox for life‘s journey, this book is a power tool.

  4. 5 out of 5

    LordOfDorkness

    For anyone who's had addiction in their life, if that's family, a friend or yourself, I highly recommend this book. It offers a detailed picture of how and why people get addicted to things, how addiction works and some suggestions on how to treat it. But, although this can be a complicated thing to explain, this book does so using such clear, plain language that you can just sit back and take it all in as if it weren't. It's informative, eye opening and a pleasure to read and I think it could s For anyone who's had addiction in their life, if that's family, a friend or yourself, I highly recommend this book. It offers a detailed picture of how and why people get addicted to things, how addiction works and some suggestions on how to treat it. But, although this can be a complicated thing to explain, this book does so using such clear, plain language that you can just sit back and take it all in as if it weren't. It's informative, eye opening and a pleasure to read and I think it could serve as a good the model for all books like it.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Gigi

    This will be a reference book for me to come back to again and again. It is full of research and anecdotes from author Tian Dayton. I highly recommend it to anyone looking for more emotional health.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Joan

    Mediocre. Dr Van Der Kolk and Peter Levine are much better authors and experts on the subject of trauma and stress.

  7. 5 out of 5

    Lauren

    "At the end of the day, our ability to see beauty, meaning, and purpose in our lives, in our world, and in our relationships is a fertilizer that grows rich fruit. Seeing life as a gift is what makes it a gift. Finding meaning and purpose in the life we lead is what gives it meaning and purpose. This ability to create meaning and transcendent purpose is a gift of the prefrontal cortex, a gift of being human." "At the end of the day, our ability to see beauty, meaning, and purpose in our lives, in our world, and in our relationships is a fertilizer that grows rich fruit. Seeing life as a gift is what makes it a gift. Finding meaning and purpose in the life we lead is what gives it meaning and purpose. This ability to create meaning and transcendent purpose is a gift of the prefrontal cortex, a gift of being human."

  8. 5 out of 5

    Matt Klotz

    It was a bit of a gut punch to me. There were times where I was reading this book and I'd have flashback to how selfish and immature I was in previous relationships. This book is for anyone who wants to have deeper relationships. Anyone who wants to have deeper relationships with others, must first understand themselves, and this book will help you do that. It was a bit of a gut punch to me. There were times where I was reading this book and I'd have flashback to how selfish and immature I was in previous relationships. This book is for anyone who wants to have deeper relationships. Anyone who wants to have deeper relationships with others, must first understand themselves, and this book will help you do that.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Suddi

    A great book that gives a holistic approach to the different dimensions that need our attention in other to become emotionally sober. A lot of aspects are covered, but I miss a red thread throughout the book, with fewer repetition. Maybe choosing fewer aspects and going in depth with them.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Kale

    Quite dry and did not resonate with me.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Trevor

    A beautiful primer to psychotherapy. I will recommend it to all my clients as a very thorough guidebook for understanding emotions and figuring out what to do with them.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Jen

    Is approaching the study of emotions in a fascinating and engaging way. and yet the vocab and density and within my range, which is limited .. I'm enjoying learning about how kids develop emotionally,from a physiological perspective, so like how they literally have not developed all the brain structures and areas to make all the complex decisions put forth to them. nice reminders for an impatient mom. Is approaching the study of emotions in a fascinating and engaging way. and yet the vocab and density and within my range, which is limited .. I'm enjoying learning about how kids develop emotionally,from a physiological perspective, so like how they literally have not developed all the brain structures and areas to make all the complex decisions put forth to them. nice reminders for an impatient mom.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Cheryl

    Practical, down to earth advise. There are simple things that can be done to heal and deal with emotional trauma. If you feel your feelings BIG, the way I do, there is help in this book. "One of the tragedies of relationship trauma is that it can make us UNABLE to take in caring and support from others with the result that we reject the good that may be coming our way." Not an excuse, just insight. What is easy for others is hard, if not impossible for me. Practical, down to earth advise. There are simple things that can be done to heal and deal with emotional trauma. If you feel your feelings BIG, the way I do, there is help in this book. "One of the tragedies of relationship trauma is that it can make us UNABLE to take in caring and support from others with the result that we reject the good that may be coming our way." Not an excuse, just insight. What is easy for others is hard, if not impossible for me.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Tyler

    I was sceptical of the publisher's definition as "Self-Help/Recovery," because of all the spiritual/inspirational ego-trips I associate with the genre, but this book really hits home with every sentence. It stirs up a lot memories, but I guess that's the idea. It was appropriate that I started reading it on Mother's Day. I'm totally loaning this book to my sister when I'm done with it. I was sceptical of the publisher's definition as "Self-Help/Recovery," because of all the spiritual/inspirational ego-trips I associate with the genre, but this book really hits home with every sentence. It stirs up a lot memories, but I guess that's the idea. It was appropriate that I started reading it on Mother's Day. I'm totally loaning this book to my sister when I'm done with it.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Richard

    Awesome insight into the next frontier of sobriety as explained by Bill W first. I would highly recommend this book to anyone in recovery seeking balance on an emotional level. So happy I found this book!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Kathleen Hanes

    Broadly based discussions on effects of early stress, trauma, etc. on later stability and peace of mind. wordy, but...worth the read. Not limited to ACOA issues.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Kathy

    Not really applicable to me; couldn't get through it. Not really applicable to me; couldn't get through it.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Julie

    Good practical advice about what to focus on instead of childhood pain.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Susan

    definitely 12-step based; useful.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Patricia Hoffman

    Very helpful

  21. 5 out of 5

    Barbara Hernon

  22. 5 out of 5

    Sumanth Ƀharadwaj

  23. 4 out of 5

    Kellen

  24. 5 out of 5

    jenny

  25. 4 out of 5

    Kellie Whitaker

  26. 5 out of 5

    Dodie Smith

  27. 5 out of 5

    Big Tex

  28. 4 out of 5

    Jocelyn Beecher

  29. 4 out of 5

    Linda Stuckey

  30. 5 out of 5

    Whitney Summerer

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