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Never Good Enough: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life

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* Do you feel that no matter how hard you try it is never good enough? * Do you spend too much time trying to get things exactly right in order to avoid criticism? * Does it seem that at any minute people will find out that you are not really what you seem to be? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with perfectionistic tendencies. They can * Do you feel that no matter how hard you try it is never good enough? * Do you spend too much time trying to get things exactly right in order to avoid criticism? * Does it seem that at any minute people will find out that you are not really what you seem to be? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with perfectionistic tendencies. They can serve a positive purpose in your life. But having extremely high standards for yourself and others can leave you feeling let down -- over and over again -- when these expectations aren't met. As psychologist and researcher Monica Ramirez Basco explains, uncontrolled perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, and broken marriages and friendships. In Never Good Enough Dr. Basco helps you understand why you feel driven to get things "just right" and shows you how to make the best of your perfectionism. Filled with practical advice, encouragement, and strategies for self-discovery, this invaluable guide includes Dr. Basco's own thirty-question self-test that will help you recognize and manage the negative side of your perfectionism. You will learn how to stop the struggle with yourself and others, how to evaluate your worth and performance in life, and how to replace the pursuit of perfection with peace of mind.


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* Do you feel that no matter how hard you try it is never good enough? * Do you spend too much time trying to get things exactly right in order to avoid criticism? * Does it seem that at any minute people will find out that you are not really what you seem to be? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with perfectionistic tendencies. They can * Do you feel that no matter how hard you try it is never good enough? * Do you spend too much time trying to get things exactly right in order to avoid criticism? * Does it seem that at any minute people will find out that you are not really what you seem to be? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be struggling with perfectionistic tendencies. They can serve a positive purpose in your life. But having extremely high standards for yourself and others can leave you feeling let down -- over and over again -- when these expectations aren't met. As psychologist and researcher Monica Ramirez Basco explains, uncontrolled perfectionism can lead to depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, fear of failure, and broken marriages and friendships. In Never Good Enough Dr. Basco helps you understand why you feel driven to get things "just right" and shows you how to make the best of your perfectionism. Filled with practical advice, encouragement, and strategies for self-discovery, this invaluable guide includes Dr. Basco's own thirty-question self-test that will help you recognize and manage the negative side of your perfectionism. You will learn how to stop the struggle with yourself and others, how to evaluate your worth and performance in life, and how to replace the pursuit of perfection with peace of mind.

30 review for Never Good Enough: How to use Perfectionism to Your Advantage Without Letting it Ruin Your Life

  1. 4 out of 5

    Gavin

    Like many self-help books, Never Good Enough is about three times longer than it needs to be, but it does a decent job describing perfectionism and suggesting ways to improve it. The author prominently uses the experiences of a few composite perfectionist characters, which some readers may like but which I did not find very insightful. Overall, it's a fine book if you know little about perfectionism, but you can save yourself some time and get just as much from online articles. I particularly li Like many self-help books, Never Good Enough is about three times longer than it needs to be, but it does a decent job describing perfectionism and suggesting ways to improve it. The author prominently uses the experiences of a few composite perfectionist characters, which some readers may like but which I did not find very insightful. Overall, it's a fine book if you know little about perfectionism, but you can save yourself some time and get just as much from online articles. I particularly like the reading "Coping with Perfectionism" by Ed Beckham and Cecilia Beckham.

  2. 4 out of 5

    Gretchen

    3.5 The exercises throughout the book were helpful.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Roxanne Bedard-Saucier

    3.5/5* While the book has interesting ideas and did help me, I would have preferred if there were more examples about perfectionism in school (those in the book are more about family and work).

  4. 5 out of 5

    Claire

    Étant concernée ça m'a intéressé. C'est bien pour les concerné.es ou du moins celleux qui le pensent pour voir si vous l'êtes vraiment ou pas. Car non il ne suffit pas d'organiser à outrance et d'être un.e maniaque du ménage pour être perfectionniste. Ça peut aussi être bien pour celleux qui ne pensent pas l'être, car finalement vous n'êtes peut être Enfin c'est bien pour celleux qui côtoient des perfectionnistes pour mieux comprendre Il y a des exercices etc. Après ce n'est pas magique, rien ne Étant concernée ça m'a intéressé. C'est bien pour les concerné.es ou du moins celleux qui le pensent pour voir si vous l'êtes vraiment ou pas. Car non il ne suffit pas d'organiser à outrance et d'être un.e maniaque du ménage pour être perfectionniste. Ça peut aussi être bien pour celleux qui ne pensent pas l'être, car finalement vous n'êtes peut être Enfin c'est bien pour celleux qui côtoient des perfectionnistes pour mieux comprendre Il y a des exercices etc. Après ce n'est pas magique, rien ne peut remplacer les avancements faits lors d'une thérapie

  5. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie

    I found this book to be very helpful BUT fair warning, this book is not enough on its own if you’re not ready. If you’re not in a place mentally and emotionally where you’re willing to have an open mindset, to look at yourself and your behavior critically with curiosity and ultimately to grow then you will likely get very little out of it or worse, find it extremely frustrating. Like most things in life, only you can do the hard work here.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Allison Berkowitz

    This was extremely eye opening and helpful for me. I'd been called a perfectionist many times but never identified with it or thought of the term in much depth. The book offered so much insight into the problems and into myself. It helped me ask myself some important questions that I'd never thought to ask before and - I'm hoping - the answers are going to help me make some helpful changes within my mind and emotions. This was extremely eye opening and helpful for me. I'd been called a perfectionist many times but never identified with it or thought of the term in much depth. The book offered so much insight into the problems and into myself. It helped me ask myself some important questions that I'd never thought to ask before and - I'm hoping - the answers are going to help me make some helpful changes within my mind and emotions.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Edward JD)

    A psychiatrist in my field recommended this book. I wonder if he was trying to tell me something. I was in the middle of writing my first book when I read this book. It's a good supplement to the tools I've gathered through life. A psychiatrist in my field recommended this book. I wonder if he was trying to tell me something. I was in the middle of writing my first book when I read this book. It's a good supplement to the tools I've gathered through life.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Brande

    Very helpful for understanding the psychology behind perfectionism and the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy methods of dealing with it. Could use a wider range of CBT exercises to truly benefit a wider audiences.

  9. 4 out of 5

    Ashley

    much longer than it needs to be and not very helpful at all for a self-help book lol

  10. 5 out of 5

    Casi

    omg its so repetitive i can't omg its so repetitive i can't

  11. 5 out of 5

    Laurla2

    good book. i took notes, but i can't find them. good book. i took notes, but i can't find them.

  12. 4 out of 5

    Rebecca

    I read this mostly because Chuckro was reading it. I think I've come to the conclusion that my perfectionism is broader but less deep than he is--I show more of the various symptoms but it causes less trouble in general in my life. I feel like the author spends an awful lot of time demonstrating the positive aspects as well as negative. I guess that's good for keeping people from beating themselves up too much. But I feel like most perfectionists are pretty well convinced on the advantages alread I read this mostly because Chuckro was reading it. I think I've come to the conclusion that my perfectionism is broader but less deep than he is--I show more of the various symptoms but it causes less trouble in general in my life. I feel like the author spends an awful lot of time demonstrating the positive aspects as well as negative. I guess that's good for keeping people from beating themselves up too much. But I feel like most perfectionists are pretty well convinced on the advantages already--it's the disadvantages you have to sell them on. I think this is potentially more helpful to people with stronger manifestations than I have. There are also some tips for living with perfectionists which I found mostly useless. I can see how it might be useful for someone who isn't a perfectionist and doesn't get what's going on in their partner's head. But I understand the cycles he goes through, I just don't know how to defuse them. So a lot of this ended up feeling like info I already knew. Which is perhaps not the author's fault, but made it somewhat less useful.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Carrie G

    I just couldn't do it... I couldn't finish the book. I honestly can count on my fingers the number of books that I have dropped in my lifetime, but this is one of them... which is a little ironic if you think about it because I am a major perfectionist who always finishes what I start and this book is about perfectionism... but I stopped reading in the middle. Life's funny sometimes. Don't get me wrong - there were some good parts to this book and some interesting, enlightening information. I ju I just couldn't do it... I couldn't finish the book. I honestly can count on my fingers the number of books that I have dropped in my lifetime, but this is one of them... which is a little ironic if you think about it because I am a major perfectionist who always finishes what I start and this book is about perfectionism... but I stopped reading in the middle. Life's funny sometimes. Don't get me wrong - there were some good parts to this book and some interesting, enlightening information. I just got tired of the back and forth between information on inwardly and outwardly focused perfectionists. When 50% of the book I'm reading doesn't apply to me, I get bored... and annoyed... and unmotivated... and apparently stop reading. I may go back someday and try to finish this book, but I doubt it will be in the near future. There are so many other books out there that grab my attention and hold it; I have a hard time justifying wasting precious reading minutes on a book I'm not intrigued by!

  14. 5 out of 5

    Linda

    I really liked a lot of the ideas and concepts in this book. Very helpful. Overall, I thought it was just too long to really be able to apply it all. I like things simple, so about half-way through, I just started reading the text boxes that she has on every other page or so with the summary of the section, and other useful ideas.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Lauren Cottrell

    I personally am a perfectionist. This book helped me realize in what areas of life it affected me. It got to be very long and tedious to read after awhile though. I don't know if it really changed me much but I am more aware of when my perfectionist hurts me or my relationships with others. I personally am a perfectionist. This book helped me realize in what areas of life it affected me. It got to be very long and tedious to read after awhile though. I don't know if it really changed me much but I am more aware of when my perfectionist hurts me or my relationships with others.

  16. 5 out of 5

    Alicia

    Surprisingly engaging for a self-help book, heavy emphasis on concrete examples. Does a good job of making perfectionism into a positive quality (at least some of the time).

  17. 5 out of 5

    Don't Stop Reading

    Repetitive yet useful

  18. 5 out of 5

    Maria

    Good book for all the Martha's of the world to know how to find balance. Good book for all the Martha's of the world to know how to find balance.

  19. 5 out of 5

    Sandy Clark

    Excellent, practical guidance.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Shay (Echo Avenue)

  21. 5 out of 5

    Katie

  22. 5 out of 5

    Paul Broenen

  23. 5 out of 5

    Gabucha

  24. 5 out of 5

    Johanna

  25. 4 out of 5

    Ashley Meredith

  26. 4 out of 5

    jamie

  27. 4 out of 5

    Kay

  28. 4 out of 5

    Robert D. Luke

  29. 4 out of 5

    محمد

  30. 5 out of 5

    Marianne

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