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Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships

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Love. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet it is one of the hardest things to find, and perhaps an even harder thing to hold on to. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. But you can be perfectly imperfect together. In Wabi Sabi Love, international bestselling author and relationship Love. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet it is one of the hardest things to find, and perhaps an even harder thing to hold on to. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. But you can be perfectly imperfect together. In Wabi Sabi Love, international bestselling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford applies the wisdom of Wabi Sabi—the ancient Japanese idea of illuminating the beauty in imperfection—to love relationships. Wabi Sabi Love is the practice of exploring, embracing, and cherishing the quirks, irritations, and limitations that make you and your partner unique and that form your shared history as a couple. Wabi Sabi Love provides the tools to see yourself, your partner, and your partnership in an entirely new light, develop a deep and profound appreciation for each other, and experience more balance, harmony, and joy in your relationship than ever before. Wabi Sabi Love teaches you to: turn conflict into connection and differences into mutual passions move from “annoyed” to “enjoyed” establish new beliefs and habits that better serve your relationship cultivate humor, humility, and generosity to diffuse those moments when you would normally retreat or slip into tired judgments, criticisms, or resentments Using real-life stories of couples who applied Wabi Sabi and found their relationships transformed, Wabi Sabi Love can revolutionize your relationship whether you’re navigating financial challenges, raising children, caring for aging parents, coping with a seemingly insurmountable betrayal, or just facing mundane frustrations and everyday stressors. By shifting the focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, Wabi Sabi Love reveals a pathway to true love and your happily ever after.


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Love. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet it is one of the hardest things to find, and perhaps an even harder thing to hold on to. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. But you can be perfectly imperfect together. In Wabi Sabi Love, international bestselling author and relationship Love. It’s right up there with air, food, and water as the most necessary of ingredients for existence. And yet it is one of the hardest things to find, and perhaps an even harder thing to hold on to. The truth is you’re not perfect, and neither is your partner. But you can be perfectly imperfect together. In Wabi Sabi Love, international bestselling author and relationship expert Arielle Ford applies the wisdom of Wabi Sabi—the ancient Japanese idea of illuminating the beauty in imperfection—to love relationships. Wabi Sabi Love is the practice of exploring, embracing, and cherishing the quirks, irritations, and limitations that make you and your partner unique and that form your shared history as a couple. Wabi Sabi Love provides the tools to see yourself, your partner, and your partnership in an entirely new light, develop a deep and profound appreciation for each other, and experience more balance, harmony, and joy in your relationship than ever before. Wabi Sabi Love teaches you to: turn conflict into connection and differences into mutual passions move from “annoyed” to “enjoyed” establish new beliefs and habits that better serve your relationship cultivate humor, humility, and generosity to diffuse those moments when you would normally retreat or slip into tired judgments, criticisms, or resentments Using real-life stories of couples who applied Wabi Sabi and found their relationships transformed, Wabi Sabi Love can revolutionize your relationship whether you’re navigating financial challenges, raising children, caring for aging parents, coping with a seemingly insurmountable betrayal, or just facing mundane frustrations and everyday stressors. By shifting the focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, Wabi Sabi Love reveals a pathway to true love and your happily ever after.

30 review for Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships

  1. 5 out of 5

    Christina

    Modern Lovers: take note of Arielle Ford, the smart couple's guide to thriving in an enduring relationship. I've read a Dr. Laura book, and I can tell you to forget Dr. Laura and the Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage book she wrote. Arielle Ford espouses a lot of the same things yet does so in a sane, logical way. Move over, Dr. Laura: you're obsolete. The new therapist is in: Arielle Ford. What she writes makes perfect sense. You will ignore Wabi Sabi love at your own peril. It's one of the greate Modern Lovers: take note of Arielle Ford, the smart couple's guide to thriving in an enduring relationship. I've read a Dr. Laura book, and I can tell you to forget Dr. Laura and the Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage book she wrote. Arielle Ford espouses a lot of the same things yet does so in a sane, logical way. Move over, Dr. Laura: you're obsolete. The new therapist is in: Arielle Ford. What she writes makes perfect sense. You will ignore Wabi Sabi love at your own peril. It's one of the greatest relationship books I've ever read. The premise: treasure your mate's imperfections like cracks in a vase. Refrain from arguing and bickering over petty thinks. See the love that goes into your lover's actions. Nobody's perfect, so don't try to fix your lover's cracks. (Violence or abuse is NOT acceptable.) Though I'm not sure it would be acceptable to me if a guy dropped his clothes on the floor and left them there. Sorry, Arielle.

  2. 5 out of 5

    Geta

    Although the title sounds a little bit to hippie for my taste the book is actually good. I liked the multitude of examples regarding issues one might encounter in a relationship and how those people resolved them. It is always good to remind yourself that to be in a healthy relationship we need to lead with kindness, gratitude and choosing to see the good stuff over the bad ones.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Krysten

    I literally hated this book. The concept of wabi sabi love sounded great in theory, but the author's examples were largely superficial and overdramatic: A woman who was frustrated with a husband who never combed his hair; another who was annoyed because hers left a trail of poppy seeds through the house; a third who became upset when her husband talked to strangers, causing them to be late. (Now that I think about it, all the stories I recall were about women being frustrated with their husbands I literally hated this book. The concept of wabi sabi love sounded great in theory, but the author's examples were largely superficial and overdramatic: A woman who was frustrated with a husband who never combed his hair; another who was annoyed because hers left a trail of poppy seeds through the house; a third who became upset when her husband talked to strangers, causing them to be late. (Now that I think about it, all the stories I recall were about women being frustrated with their husbands.) At first, these problems were insurmountable. Then, out of nowhere, they all had the earth-shattering revelation that if their husbands didn't do this, they might be dead, and dealing with these horrible problems was much better than that. And they got all weepy and apologetic, and everything was wonderful. News flash: First of all, no one's going to get divorced because of messy hair or poppy seeds. If that is the case, it's because there are much bigger issues swimming around beneath the surface. Second, it's not that easy to let go. It's not a lightning-strike moment where everything becomes clear and the things that bother you suddenly don't anymore. Third of all, why are we as women the ones who have to give in? Where are the men who don't want to lose their partners so much that they take five seconds to comb their hair or pick up their damn poppy seeds so that we don't lose our minds?! That's not to say there aren't examples of real, actual problems in this book. One story was about a man who cheated on his wife with a colleague when they were traveling abroad. He finally came clean about it, and his wife found it within her heart to forgive him. Ford explains this was difficult for her, though we don't really feel it. Then, the husband finds out his mistress is pregnant. Then he wants to have the baby in his life. But all is well, because his wife is practicing wabi sabi love. In another story, a man drifts away from his wife and children, works a ton and has an affair, rationalizing by telling himself he's providing for his family, and therefore he can do whatever he wants. Shockingly they divorce; when she gets a bad case of cancer, he thinks she's just trying to get pity, and keeps on acting like a selfish jerk. Eventually he realizes the error of his ways and begs her to take him back. AND SHE DOES. Points four and five: Men care only about themselves, and women are pushovers. Is this really what we want to be teaching women? That men can do whatever the hell they want, but we have to forgive them for it, because we believe in the concept of "wabi sabi love"? I'm sorry, but that is not love. That is naiveté. That is blinding yourself to the truth. That is letting someone take advantage of you over and over again. That is disrespecting yourself and allowing someone else to hurt you. Long story short, I couldn't finish this book. Not only did I hate it, but I was actually angered by it. I thought I was going to be learning how I can let go of the little things so that I can have a happier, more harmonious relationship. But no. All I learned was that, if I want to be happy, I have to not only put up with utter bullshit from my husband (because that is what he's going to do regardless of how it makes me feel), but I have to like it. Sorry, but I have more self-respect than that. My husband cheats on me and fathers a child with another woman, and that's it. I deserve more than that.

  4. 5 out of 5

    Sunflower

    What is Wabi-sabi? Apart from a little catch-phrase that might help to sell the book? "Pared down to it's barest essence, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death. It...reveres authenticiy above all. It celebrates cracks, crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind". Or from another source: "It is a Japanese asthetic, in which things are imperfect, imper What is Wabi-sabi? Apart from a little catch-phrase that might help to sell the book? "Pared down to it's barest essence, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death. It...reveres authenticiy above all. It celebrates cracks, crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind". Or from another source: "It is a Japanese asthetic, in which things are imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete". The author has rather dialled down on the "impermanent" and "decaying" parts of all this, and written a useful book about applying the broad principles to love and relationships. She emphasises the importance of making one's relationship the first priority, not doing things that would do anything but serve the greater good of both partners, and living in full acceptance of each other's quirks rather than seeking perfection in one's partner. The basic premise is that you can choose how you see things, so although certain behaviours and habits might still bug you, you realise that these are the very things that make that person who they are. She gives a lot of real couple stories to illustrate her points, all of whom have overcome the kind of obstacles that might easily have led to separations but ended up enriching the relationship of those involved. Food for thought, for those of us who aren't yet perfect.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Bea Elwood

    It's a fact that happily married couples fight as often as couples headed for divorce, so what's the difference? It's how the disagreements are handled. The four deadly sins are Critism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Need help breaking down your own defenses so you are a better communicator then I would recommend Wabi Sabi Love. A bit repeative but full of wonderful, real-life, illustrations; my favorite, the wife who's husband loves poppyseed bagels and eats one everyday. You can fo It's a fact that happily married couples fight as often as couples headed for divorce, so what's the difference? It's how the disagreements are handled. The four deadly sins are Critism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Need help breaking down your own defenses so you are a better communicator then I would recommend Wabi Sabi Love. A bit repeative but full of wonderful, real-life, illustrations; my favorite, the wife who's husband loves poppyseed bagels and eats one everyday. You can follow the trail of poppyseeds from the kitchen, across the house, and into his study. One day as she is fuming about cleaning up the mess she realizes that if there were no poppyseeds there would be no husband and she changes her attitude from one of anger to appreciation.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Jen

    I thought this was a great book about relationships -- mainly focusing on co-habitation with your significant other, and learning to deal with his/her quirks. There are several different scenarios given, with many examples of diverse couples going through something, so the characters Ford uses are relate-able to the reader in some capacity. A very interesting read for anyone in a relationship -- whether there are quirks or not.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Monica

    The examples were ridiculous. Your male partner loves sports? Your female partner loves shopping? Your partner has messy hair and doesn't care about it? These are not real problems or imperfections. The authors also seemed to be implying that the best way to overcome struggles in a relationship is to basically become your partner. Not for me or perhaps for anyone who takes a more individualistic approach to relationships. The examples were ridiculous. Your male partner loves sports? Your female partner loves shopping? Your partner has messy hair and doesn't care about it? These are not real problems or imperfections. The authors also seemed to be implying that the best way to overcome struggles in a relationship is to basically become your partner. Not for me or perhaps for anyone who takes a more individualistic approach to relationships.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Christina

    I barely made it through this book. Do what your partner wants to do, forgive him for having an affair, no problem with getting the mistress pregnant, you can criticize me and make me feel worthless, it's totally fine. You can have an affair for 4 months, I'll wait. Whatever. Seems like this book teaches women to conform and put up with whatever their partner is doing. I definitely don't buy that. I barely made it through this book. Do what your partner wants to do, forgive him for having an affair, no problem with getting the mistress pregnant, you can criticize me and make me feel worthless, it's totally fine. You can have an affair for 4 months, I'll wait. Whatever. Seems like this book teaches women to conform and put up with whatever their partner is doing. I definitely don't buy that.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Libby

    The case studies of successful relationships make this book valuable (did you know that Barack Obama was a slob, dropping his clothes wherever?), but some of the author's advice--e.g., get involved with your partner's interests--seem less valuable. After all, one doesn't want to--nor should one--become a clone of your beloved. That said, though, there is helpful information here. The case studies of successful relationships make this book valuable (did you know that Barack Obama was a slob, dropping his clothes wherever?), but some of the author's advice--e.g., get involved with your partner's interests--seem less valuable. After all, one doesn't want to--nor should one--become a clone of your beloved. That said, though, there is helpful information here.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Jill

    i liked the concept of Wabi Sabi Love (Wabi Sabi, the Japanese concept of the perfection in imperfection). But this is really just another talk-show self-help book, where every anecdotal relationship ends in some kind of positive lesson. It's just kind of lame...some of the ideas got me thinking from a different perspective, but overall it is just a little too pat to be inspiring. i liked the concept of Wabi Sabi Love (Wabi Sabi, the Japanese concept of the perfection in imperfection). But this is really just another talk-show self-help book, where every anecdotal relationship ends in some kind of positive lesson. It's just kind of lame...some of the ideas got me thinking from a different perspective, but overall it is just a little too pat to be inspiring.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Patrick Hanlon

    Wabi Sabi Love intrigued me as an effort to determine how wabi sabi applies to relationships and love. It is a valuable book on love and relationships. There is also, in the very closing pages of the book, the suggestion that spouses interact in a way that allows them to imprint their lives on one another just as a carpenter's daily grip on a hammer polishes the handle smooth over time. The moments of insight that can be traced clearly to wabi sabi, however, are too far and few between to aptly Wabi Sabi Love intrigued me as an effort to determine how wabi sabi applies to relationships and love. It is a valuable book on love and relationships. There is also, in the very closing pages of the book, the suggestion that spouses interact in a way that allows them to imprint their lives on one another just as a carpenter's daily grip on a hammer polishes the handle smooth over time. The moments of insight that can be traced clearly to wabi sabi, however, are too far and few between to aptly declare the book to be grounded in wabi sabi. The book begins at a trajectory that strives to be pithy rather than profound and narrows its scope to the ways in which partners can strive to adapt to and accept one another's imperfections, not a particular unique insight in this genre. In the opening chapter, the author dwells upon her hope to avoid a partner who is a football fan only to end up marrying a basketball fan and, in turn, making the adjustments to adapt to her husband's affinity for that sport. The book features what the author titles "Wabi Sabi Principles" but there is little about them to indicate that they are as unique or as clearly linked to wabi sabi as the author would like to suggest. The book emphasizes laughter, trust, accepting flaws and communicating, but none of these are linked to wabi sabi. The forays into yin and yang balance and tantra that may only be related to wabi sabi by virtue of being Asian suggest a diffuse grasp of wabi sabi itself. There are cases where challenging differences between spouses are overcome, but there is little evidence within the book that other aspects of wabi sabi -- the impermanence, the incompletion, the essence of a person that can be evident in their flaws -- that could be applied. Writing a book that is focused mainly on addressing flaws that we find in one another does not bring the full potential of wabi sabi to bear on love, relationships, family and marriage. There is a distinct possibility that the book misrepresents wabi sabi as being simpler than it is. A relationships book using the terms to merely examine ways of coping with a partner's flaws rather than examining the essence of a partner, or the complementary fit between two partners does the subject and the lens an injustice. Ford could have said much more about this. She has written previously on relationships but seems to indicate a lack of confidence or familiarity with wabi sabi to fully flesh out how it could apply to relationships. When Ford talks about a couple that indulges in role-playing to channel jealousy and concludes that, "[their] healthy Wabi Sabi approach to dealing with his jealousy is fun, creative and humorous," I get concerned that she does not know wabi sabi well enough to apply it comprehensively to relationships.

  12. 5 out of 5

    D

    My eyes were opened when I was introduced to the concept of Wabi Sabi. As for the rest, maybe it was fresh when it came out in 2012, however, at this point, it's 'same-old, same-old.' Wabi Sabi is the ancient Japanese art form that finds beauty and perfection in imperfection. Wabi Sabi honors that which is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It finds beauty in things modest, humble and unconventional. Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and comp My eyes were opened when I was introduced to the concept of Wabi Sabi. As for the rest, maybe it was fresh when it came out in 2012, however, at this point, it's 'same-old, same-old.' Wabi Sabi is the ancient Japanese art form that finds beauty and perfection in imperfection. Wabi Sabi honors that which is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It finds beauty in things modest, humble and unconventional. Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and a life of service and compassion are the things which renew humanity - Buddha Can you imagine what the world would look like, feel like, and be like if the foundational premise of romantic love and deep intimacy were based on the art of loving one's imperfections rather than the illusionary fantasy that your relationship is fabulous only when each person is acting perfectly and behaving in ways that are acceptable to the other? Imagine a world in which imperfection is the accepted norm and is actually cherished. Love know that it comes in one way and one way only: through exploring, embracing, and actually falling in love with the cracks in each other and ourselves. A key aspect of Wabi Sabi is learning to move our focus from what makes our partners so annoying to what makes our partners so unique. Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind. - Rudyard Kipling To abbreviate suffering, practice empathy, compassion and surrender for both yourself and your partner. Rule 1: Make Yourself Happy Wabi Sabi love calls for personal responsibility in which we nurture and care for ourselves as well as our partners, in mind, body, and spirit.

  13. 5 out of 5

    e.m.

    Wabi Sabi is one of my favourite concepts, which is why I felt drawn to this book in the first place. Unfortunately it did not deliver. The author claims to be a 'wabi sabi artisan' (definitely not a thing) but her examples of 'wabi sabi' principles and how they relate to relationships, alongside her weak examples just didn't marry up for me (pun intended). Throughout, the author utilises very common sense practices from a wide range of basic relationship and communication principles. The author j Wabi Sabi is one of my favourite concepts, which is why I felt drawn to this book in the first place. Unfortunately it did not deliver. The author claims to be a 'wabi sabi artisan' (definitely not a thing) but her examples of 'wabi sabi' principles and how they relate to relationships, alongside her weak examples just didn't marry up for me (pun intended). Throughout, the author utilises very common sense practices from a wide range of basic relationship and communication principles. The author just labelled them as wabi sabi for the benefit of her book. Throw in that she pays no attention to cultural differences across couples, and that all of the 'problems' referred to were the female partner being annoyed with the male partner and you'll see why this book is a waste of time. This book lacked depth and real insight. If you have made any effort to develop your own self awareness and emotional intelligence and how this plays into the relationships you have, then I believe this will be too much like pre-school reading for you.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Kimber

    Arielle Ford's take on spirituality in relationships, shifting how we see these kinds of problems/issues and the importance of staying heart-focused. Although many people can benefit from her message, I don't think this book can succeed in educating anyone new to these concepts. Ford never really explains the how of these concepts, only offering stories (often from people she knows or who went to her expensive workshops) and just telling you what you should do--which can be very bad relationship Arielle Ford's take on spirituality in relationships, shifting how we see these kinds of problems/issues and the importance of staying heart-focused. Although many people can benefit from her message, I don't think this book can succeed in educating anyone new to these concepts. Ford never really explains the how of these concepts, only offering stories (often from people she knows or who went to her expensive workshops) and just telling you what you should do--which can be very bad relationship advice for most people. Ford's book reads more of her weak attempt at formulating a gimmick and relying on the miraculous relationship stories of herself and her friends (while putting in plugs for them) then writing a book that would be much more valuable--how to develop the necessary relationship skills.

  15. 5 out of 5

    JT

    Relationship/life changing book Easy, entertaining read with practical advice easy to apply to any relationship. I have used the wisdom gleaned from this writing to help me have a better relationship with everyone in my life, from romantic partner to parents, to kids to my dogs! Everyone should read this book regardless of their marital status.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Nancy Pfaffe

    I had heard this author on a podcast and really liked what she was saying and decided to read the book. I like and agree with the basic premise but it wasn’t anything new. Lots of stories about couples.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Silvia

    Love this concept of celebrating imperfections and learning to love them. So many places to apply this in my life. Great stories that bring the concept to life - my favorite way of learning through real examples of stories told beautifully.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Michelle Vandepol

    Like the gifts of imperfection for couples. Both immensely practical & highly expectant in what it asks of and delivers to both partners. Focusing on improved communication, appreciation, and celebration, this guidebook incorporates a grace-based approach to partner equity and enjoyment.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Elizabeth

    Wabi Sabi Love: The Ancient Art of Finding Perfect Love in Imperfect Relationships (Hardcover) by Arielle Ford

  20. 5 out of 5

    Jay Vee

    Mostly it was about appreciating and not freaking out over those little things that bother you about someone else. There was one story that touched my heart about the woman that stayed with her cheating ass husband. I guess cuz it hit close to home. I also liked reading about her relationship sounds like she's got one of those relationships that I have always believed are possible. Made me smile. Really simplistic language though, wasn't poetic or nun like that. Made its points overall. Mostly it was about appreciating and not freaking out over those little things that bother you about someone else. There was one story that touched my heart about the woman that stayed with her cheating ass husband. I guess cuz it hit close to home. I also liked reading about her relationship sounds like she's got one of those relationships that I have always believed are possible. Made me smile. Really simplistic language though, wasn't poetic or nun like that. Made its points overall.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Jessica Rick

    I love tiny books that pack a wallop. Arielle Ford lays down principles to guide relationships and provides real life examples of couples who have gone through problems and applied said principles. So many little gems throughout! I highlighted many passages and points int he book. Here are a small handful that spoke to me: (i) "A twenty second hug releases the bonding hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin" (ii) "Agree to explore than than solve. Research has shown that 70 percent of issues don't I love tiny books that pack a wallop. Arielle Ford lays down principles to guide relationships and provides real life examples of couples who have gone through problems and applied said principles. So many little gems throughout! I highlighted many passages and points int he book. Here are a small handful that spoke to me: (i) "A twenty second hug releases the bonding hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin" (ii) "Agree to explore than than solve. Research has shown that 70 percent of issues don't need to be resolved; they just need to be discussed" (iii)"Most of the time, once the honeymoon phase has passed, we tend to pay attention to our partners only at the points of intersection between their behavior and whatever we're personally trying to accomplish in the moment" and (iv) "True love requires us to evolve beyond our wounds, not demand that our partners or the relationship heal us from them...To love another asks us to grow up, rise above how live has wounded us, and be responsible for what we need as adults." Arielle Ford has also placed what I call mubmo-jumbo in the book, such as "Once I manifested Brian-my soulmate..." But I breeze past these parts. I'm not saying manifesting things in life is not possible; it's just sentences like that read false to me. Putting topics like this into print often makes concepts, for me, sound childish and hokey. Plus, the average person can't just manifest their soulmate. If they could, the movie "Weird Science" wouldn't have been a comedy. Overall, this is a great read. If you are open to embracing a relationship with stellar communication by applying the principals of Wabi Sabi Love, you will come away with a depth of understanding of both yourself and your loved one.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Keeley

    I found this book so incredibly helpful! I read it just as my boyfriend and I were preparing to move in together and it helped me see all of the little irritations and flaws (on both of our parts) as part of the entire, perfect picture that is our relationship. Ford highlights real stories of real couples and uses them to illustrate lessons in accepting the flaws in yourself and your partner as beautiful, because it makes both of you who you are as a couple and as individuals. Whether you're sin I found this book so incredibly helpful! I read it just as my boyfriend and I were preparing to move in together and it helped me see all of the little irritations and flaws (on both of our parts) as part of the entire, perfect picture that is our relationship. Ford highlights real stories of real couples and uses them to illustrate lessons in accepting the flaws in yourself and your partner as beautiful, because it makes both of you who you are as a couple and as individuals. Whether you're single, casually dating or in a serious relationship, I highly recommend this book. I'm not generally one for self-help, relationship advice books, but I absolutely enjoyed and learned from this one!

  23. 5 out of 5

    Alyssa

    It was extremely difficult for me to get through this book. Truth be told, I was adding a ton of library e-books to my wish list & accidentally added this one. Wabi Sabi in my rushed mind was supposed to be a cookbook or something interesting about wasabi. I should slow down & read the summaries before downloading. Anyhow, it's not about food at all. It's a relationship book & an extremely corny one at times (most of the time.) It has maybe two little gems of paragraphs that I highlighted. The r It was extremely difficult for me to get through this book. Truth be told, I was adding a ton of library e-books to my wish list & accidentally added this one. Wabi Sabi in my rushed mind was supposed to be a cookbook or something interesting about wasabi. I should slow down & read the summaries before downloading. Anyhow, it's not about food at all. It's a relationship book & an extremely corny one at times (most of the time.) It has maybe two little gems of paragraphs that I highlighted. The rest was kind of agony for me to get through. But I somehow finished it. Miracles do happen. I'm glad it was a library book, not a purchase. I won't be re-reading this.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Lois Keller

    I am really unsure what this author was basing their 'sage advice' off of and this book left me wanting the entire time. Most of the advice given in this book could be taken horribly out of context and seems to admonish "ask not what you can do for yourself, but what you can for the person you've decided to attach yourself to". Relationships are not easy, but they also shouldn't be forced, which the author seemed to advocate at times (i.e. teaching yourself to enjoy football so you and your sign I am really unsure what this author was basing their 'sage advice' off of and this book left me wanting the entire time. Most of the advice given in this book could be taken horribly out of context and seems to admonish "ask not what you can do for yourself, but what you can for the person you've decided to attach yourself to". Relationships are not easy, but they also shouldn't be forced, which the author seemed to advocate at times (i.e. teaching yourself to enjoy football so you and your significant other can have something in common). If you choose to read this book, please keep in mind that this book contains someone's opinion of what healthy love is.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Michele

    Through a series of love stories, Arielle provides concrete examples of the main idea of her book - There can be love and beauty in the imperfect. She demonstrates how to reshape your circumstances with your loved one so that the very things that annoy you about them can become the things you love about them. While the book is mostly themed toward romantic relationships, I found the lessons to be applicable to all of my favorite people on the planet. The POV offered in the book has given me some Through a series of love stories, Arielle provides concrete examples of the main idea of her book - There can be love and beauty in the imperfect. She demonstrates how to reshape your circumstances with your loved one so that the very things that annoy you about them can become the things you love about them. While the book is mostly themed toward romantic relationships, I found the lessons to be applicable to all of my favorite people on the planet. The POV offered in the book has given me some freedom and opened space for love I had closed before because of judgement, ego and intolerance. What a gift!

  26. 4 out of 5

    Cecilia Gonzales

    I think this is a must read book for married couples or in a committed relationship. I really like one phrase of the book "happy couples argue just as much as couples getting divorce".. the main differences is on the "how to discuss" and the commitment, what means the honest deep intention to work together for the sake of the relationship.. both in the relationship need to be very humble, open and without defensiveness.. It is a real challenge but there are really good advices to awaken this wabi I think this is a must read book for married couples or in a committed relationship. I really like one phrase of the book "happy couples argue just as much as couples getting divorce".. the main differences is on the "how to discuss" and the commitment, what means the honest deep intention to work together for the sake of the relationship.. both in the relationship need to be very humble, open and without defensiveness.. It is a real challenge but there are really good advices to awaken this wabi sabi perspective in oneself and our partner. I will probably read this great book again when I get in a commited relationship. So happy to found it!

  27. 4 out of 5

    Valerie

    This is one of the best books I've read about relationship. This helps me to decide if I deserve to get marry or not. At first, I really don't like to get into relationship because I am very devastated but after reading this book, it changes my thinking and realize I love to experience to have a good relationship. I thought guys have a big problem but I was wrong. I highly recommend this book for those who want to succeed in marriage. ;) This is one of the best books I've read about relationship. This helps me to decide if I deserve to get marry or not. At first, I really don't like to get into relationship because I am very devastated but after reading this book, it changes my thinking and realize I love to experience to have a good relationship. I thought guys have a big problem but I was wrong. I highly recommend this book for those who want to succeed in marriage. ;)

  28. 5 out of 5

    Amy

    This book is an easy, typical self-help read that had some good principles in it. Some were based on the art of wabi sabi while others seemed to be more in alignment with cognitive therapy - changing the way you think about the imperfections of your partner. There was a good definition of intimacy in the book and examples of real couples struggling to come to terms with their differences in each chapter.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Marjorie Elwood

    I would have given this a 3.5 if I could have - I appreciated the suggestions and concepts, as well as some of the exercises to improve one's relationship, but it was fairly simplistic. In addition, there was one portion that annoyed me: it seemed as though she was promoting fawning over men and appearing less competent than you are in order to attract men, although others have told me that they didn't interpret the passage in the same fashion. I would have given this a 3.5 if I could have - I appreciated the suggestions and concepts, as well as some of the exercises to improve one's relationship, but it was fairly simplistic. In addition, there was one portion that annoyed me: it seemed as though she was promoting fawning over men and appearing less competent than you are in order to attract men, although others have told me that they didn't interpret the passage in the same fashion.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Amy Lesher

    Wabi Sabi is an ancient Japanese art form that seeks to find the perfection in the imperfection. Keeping this in mind, we are continually reminded to see the positives in the negatives--to find the gift that is always there. Full of real-life "couple" transformation stories followed by practical perception- and relationship-altering exercises. An easy, insightful read for anyone looking to be reminded of the silver lining. Wabi Sabi is an ancient Japanese art form that seeks to find the perfection in the imperfection. Keeping this in mind, we are continually reminded to see the positives in the negatives--to find the gift that is always there. Full of real-life "couple" transformation stories followed by practical perception- and relationship-altering exercises. An easy, insightful read for anyone looking to be reminded of the silver lining.

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